Love me or else...

Alone

I stared into Toris's eyes for a few minutes my heart pounding rapidly at the thought that what he just said might be true. I was about to ask him if that really happened. Mr. B had acted quite strange in the morning but I believed it was just the way he was and nothing more.
I opened my mouth to ask if it was a joke but I saw Toris look behind me and his face paled considerably as if he had seen a ghost. I frowned.
A large hand placed itself on my shoulder and I felt it squeeze it strongly. Oh crap. My face paled as well.
I heard a low chuckle come from behind me and bit my lip. Should I relax or not.
"Oh what a funny joke Toris" Ivan said with no laughter obvious in his voice. I didn't dare turn around to look at Mr. B but I could see Toris's facial expression and he looked like a dead man.
"You've always been a good one with the jokes right Toris?" He asked tightening his hold on my shoulder till it was painful. Toris looked me in the eyes with pity and fear.
"Right?" Mr. Braginski said tightening his hold even more. A squeak of pain escape my throat and Toris nodded quickly
"Y-yes it was just a joke..." He stammered
"Good now leave." The Russian's cheerful voice turned into an ice cold one which had shivers running down my spine. Toris quickly left giving me one last apologetic glance.
I was then alone with him.
There was a moment of silence where Ivan's grip only grew on my shoulder.
At some point I couldn't handle the tension anymore and needed to say something
"S-sir...please let go of my shoulder..." I asked quietly afraid to anger him anymore than he obviously was.
"Нет" he said. I guessed that meant no since his hold only became tighter. I waited for him to stop and a tear ran down my cheek as I felt his nails dig into my skin. I tensed even more when I felt him lean his forehead down so it rested in my shoulder. I could smell the vodka off his breath and feel it blow down my neck giving me goosebumps. I was terrified and started crying quietly. I just wanted Alfred to be here.
I was so afraid, so scared.
"Oh no, sunflower." He said suddenly letting go of his grip on my shoulder and pulling me into a warm bear hug.
He rubbed my back with his large hand and kissed the top of my head.
I stayed frozen, not returning the hug as my shoulder kept throbbing painfully due to the force he had used to grip it.
I bruised easily and that would definitely be a bad bruise.
"You know he wasn't serious, Да?" Ivan said in a reassuring manner
I didn't answer.
"Sunflower?" He asked with concern in his voice his hold tightening on me till I almost felt choked. He kept me there for a while in total silence.
I slowly stopped crying and closed my eyes.
"There there. I'm sorry Toris is so bad with the jokes, he will be punished sunflower. He is just jealous because you're my new favourite" Ivan said kissing the top of my head again.
I still didn't say a word, too confused and scared to do so. Was Toris really jealous? But he seemed so honest...
"Say something Matvei. I'm worried." Ivan said pulling back from the hug and holding me at arms length.
I avoided eye contact and looked down
"You don't believe him, Да?" He asked
A large hand forced my head up to look into Ivan's eyes.
"You know I wouldn't do that to you I hope." He said his dark purple eyes looking lonely and sad.
I didn't know what to say. In normal situations I would just tell him the truth. That yes I was afraid of him and no I didn't trust him but looking into these pools of loneliness I felt a cord in my heart break. He was just like me. Alone. Lonely. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth and without realizing it I was actually starting to believe him. I felt that if I didn't, it would be betrayal.
So when his grip on my already bruised shoulder tightened and his eyes started to fill with hurt and his fingers around my chin dug into my skin. All I could feel was guilt, guilt for having hurt him. Why didn't I believe him, I was horrible to judge someone so quickly.
"Matvei?" He repeated my name with a strange accent, the Russian accent.
"I believe you" I said honestly
For a second, only for a small milisecond I saw something in his gaze that made me regret my answer. In those purple eyes a mask dropped for a small amount of time to show the smug look of a liar. I had seen it so often with Alfred when he lied to our dad and got away with it. But it was so quickly gone, so quickly replaced with a closed eyed smile that made my cheeks burn. Mr. Braginski was quite handsome when he smiled. He hugged me again and I felt oddly safe. But at the same time it was nothing like the sense of security Alfred would give me. No. This felt almost fake and unreal. But I so desperately needed to feel safe.
I melted in the hug. That's when it all started.
It's from that moment on I became dependant of Ivan's approval and his love for me. I wish Alfred would have been there instead and I wish he would have made me see the truth. But he wasn't there. I was alone with him.
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Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update!!!
I hope you liked it!
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~Fluffyduffee