Ch. 6

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Elliot was nervous for dinner, he had every right to be, his wife was pissed off, his work wife… could he still call her that? Anyway she was angry with him, not to mention he had teenage girls in the house so there was absolutely no way he could win right now. He set the table quietly as people started arriving. Munch and Fin first.

“Hey man.” Fin smiled and hugged Elliot before Munch presented him with some wine, “I thought it rude to show up empty handed so I brought the good stuff.” He winked and Elliot nodded, “Thank you, I just might stand a chance tonight with this.” He stated inviting the pair in. “What do you mean?” Fin questioned confused, “Kathy is pissed, she thought that witness protection would bring us closer together, she said something about Olivia being a distraction.” Elliot sighed “Yeah, that’s valid.” Munch nodded “Who’s side are you on?” Elliot asked and Fin shrugged, “I as myself the same thing every day.” he rolled his eyes and Munch scoffed, “You two need to be a little more empathetic.” He stated, Fin sighed, “You’re acting pathetic.” he teased and this time John rolled his eyes. “Call me what you want but empathy gets you everywhere, how do you think I managed to get married three times?” he stated in triumph. “Yeah you also managed to get divorced three times too, I wonder how well empathy worked in the settlements.” Fin stated and Munch glared. Elliot chuckled at the pair as he lead them in more and Kathy and the kids greeted them. 

Everyone could tell Kathy was not in the mood to play around, but she tried to brush it off and act as nice as she could, even though on the inside she was steaming. At first she didn’t have a problem with Olivia, why should she? She was married to Elliot, Olivia wasn’t and it was that simple, but the problem with that logic is, Elliot is a workaholic, always has been always will be, and Kathy hated it. He was constantly working and leaving her in the dark, before she knew it he was coming home later and had stopped talking to her completely. “You wouldn’t understand”, “I don’t want to bring work home”, “I’m too tired”, etc. They were a bunch of excuses and she grew tired of it. Tired of a loveless marriage to a husband who seemingly didn’t care about her. They’d grown apart, and she couldn’t blame him. If she had a work husband… well, that would never happen, Elliot would murder any male who bonded with her the way he did with Olivia, but hypothetically, if she had someone whom she trusted her life with, she could understand why her husband was in love with her. It didn’t help that Olivia was totally hot. She was losing it.

Olivia and Don showed up a little after Fin and Munch and everyone sat down quietly enjoying their food. To everyone, but Elliot’s surprise, Kathy was actually a good cook. It was relatively silent all throughout dinner, aside from the kids talking about their new school and friends and such. Eventually they asked to be excused and it was just the adults at the table. Elliot stared at Olivia’s hand. The scar was dark and there was no way she could hide it, unless she wore sleeves with holes cut in them for her thumbs, or gloves. He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t open up about it. What was so bad that she wouldn’t talk to him? He cleared his throat. “So uh, Liv, what happened to your hand?” he asked and she stopped mid chew and swallowed hard. “I uh- I don’t really want to talk about it Elliot, if that’s alright.” she stated. 

“It’s not alright.” he clarified. “I would like to know, I think we would all like to know, how you got the scar on your hand.” he said setting his fork down and folding his hands in front of his face watching her. 

She didn’t look at him. “Well, I’m not going to say, so just drop it Elliot.” She said seriously getting angry with him. 

“Olivia, why won’t you tell me?” he asked

“I don’t know maybe because you’re asking in front of a bunch of people, and it could also be the fact that I simply don’t want to share that information in a group setting.” she said calmly. On the outside she appeared calm, but on the inside she was in full blown panic. She wanted to leave, wanted to run, wanted to do anything to get away from this conversation. She set her fork down and wiped her mouth.

“We’re all friends here.” Elliot told her and Don sighed seeing the woman he thought of as a daughter tense. “Elliot I think you should drop it.” He said softly and Elliot shook his head, angry now. “No! I will not drop it!” he exclaimed standing up “Olivia, I’ve known you for 12 years, you cannot honestly expect me to sit back and watch from the sidelines when I know you’re hurting! Why won’t you talk to me? You’re supposed to be my partner, you’re supposed to have my back, how am I supposed to trust you, when you can’t trust me!” he yelled across the table and Olivia balled her hands into fists as she clenched her jaw. “Elliot, I’m serious, Drop it.” Don said and Elliot stomped over, getting in Olivia’s bubble, he was so close she could feel his hot breath on her neck as he yelled, “Tell me!” in her ear so loud she could hear ringing afterwards, like when you have the music too loud on your earbuds and your head feels like it would explode. Part of her wished it would. She wished she could shrink down into a tiny dust particle, and fly away from here. Lay in her bed curled in blankets with the soft sounds of whatever movie she had going on in the background. 

She wished she weren’t here, in this chair, being interrogated. He was worse than the fbi, worse than the WP agents, worse than Ed Tucker, and right in this moment, she hated him. She stood up, at eye level to him. Both of them wearing similar glares as they stood nose to nose, and Cragen was afraid he would have to break up a fight, he was also worried about who would throw the first punch.

Olivia was first to break the silence that had washed over the room. “You want to know what happened?” she asked, her voice horse from the tears she was holding back. “You want to know how a man broke into my home, my safe place, my sanctuary. How he cuffed me to my bed with my own cuffs, and how he drugged me?” she asked him stepping closer and shoving the chair back against the table, it fell with a loud thud. “Huh? You want to hear about how he drug me to the chair by my hair, and how he questioned me for hours on your location? Or how every time I told him that I didn’t know where you were he would burn me, or cut me? Is that what you want to hear?” she asked “Or are you looking for specifics? Like how the smell of burning flesh was so thick in the air that my neighbors above and below could smell it. How I couldn’t tell if it was blood or his semen running down my thighs after he sodomized and raped me. Oh no, you want to hear about the scar. Just what’s on my hand you want to know why it’s there.” she growled, “Well, Elliot, since it matters a great deal to you, It was one of the last things he did to me before he left, he stabbed me with a screwdriver, right before he shoved it inside me and raped me. He said the blood made for great lube.” She stated before stepping back. She had tears down her face and she looked around before wiping her nose with her sleeve. “I’m sorry, I’m really not feeling well, I’m going to go home now.” She stated softly before leaving quickly letting the door slam behind her.

The group was left in silence. None of them had ever known how far it had gotten. They hadn’t been prepared for the truth. Of course they had seen the reports and the x-rays and listened to the doctors statements, been through the physical therapy but none of them expected that.

Sitting there stunned, eventually everyone returned to their homes. Elliot went up to bed knowing he wouldn’t get that image out of his head. Seeing Olivia so broken hearted and angry was a shock to his system, and he wished he hadn’t pushed her, hadn’t asked, hadn’t been given the knowledge of what he knows now. He hated himself for doing what he did, and wanted to take it back, but he knew that wasn’t an option. 

Olivia laid in her bed hugging her pillow tight to her chest. It offered some relief to her. A soft knock on the door signaled Cragen was coming in and he sighed seeing the sight of her before him. Slowly he slipped his shoes off and climbed into bed with her, and with her permission, he wrapped his arms around her gently, and held her close. The brunette cried into his chest, something she had never done with anyone, no past lovers, not with her mother, not even Elliot had been given this privilege. She let him hold her, she let him be with her and offer her some comfort, and as she cried herself to sleep, she admitted to herself that she felt a little better. 

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