Don't Go Thorin Oakenshield

I'm Not A Mole!

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My name is Hėlla Norgö. I am a female dwarf of the Iron Hills. Sadly, I was kicked out for not being a proper dwarf woman. Which means, I am on my own. I've been traveling for days. Not sure where I'm traveling to, but I've been traveling. My parents were killed in a fire when they went to Dale. It was fire caused by horrible dragon, called Smaug. Sure.... I was old enough to be on my own I was about 20, but it hurt that they were gone. Since I learned how to fight and wouldn't wear a dress and serve the dwarf men, I was basically banished. It's been a long time since that happened. I'm now 180, but I still look 20.

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I came upon a small farm house that was smashed up. There was wood still hanging by a twig, barely hanging on. The roof was collapsed in. There was nothing left of it, besides the fire place. But it was a good place to rest for the night.

Suddenly a large, grimy hand took hold of me.

"Oy! What you doing?!" I shouted as I was lifted up into the air.

I was looking at the beadie blue eyes of a mountain troll. What is a mountain troll doing this far from the mountains? I would have done something, but its grip was too tight.

"Let me go!" I shouted, trying to wiggle free.

"A female dwarf. Hmm. You'd make a good pie." The troll said with his rough and loud voice.

I know I was going to regret my actions, but I did it anyway. I bite the trolls hand. He dropped me and whined. I gagged as I got up and drew my sword. 

"Don't come near me." I yelled, pointing it at the troll.

"You little mole! You bite me."

I wiped my mouth, trying to rid the nasty taste form it. "Yup. And I regret it. Ugh! You need to wash yourself. You taste horrible."

I could hear soft footsteps move closer. Then I realized the troll that got me was not alone. In fact, there were two more trolls. They were big and slow, but since there were three, I had no choice. I tried to run, but they somehow got me. Screaming and kick was not helpful... at all. After they took my sword, one tied me up and shoved me in a bag. Which looked like a potato sack, just bigger. I was thrown aside for more meat to come along.

The trolls had a fire going. Over the fire, sat a big pot of... only assuming something gross. I noticed that one troll was a little slow compared to the others. He was smaller and looked funny. His name was Tom. The other didn't talk much and he looked normal... for a troll. I think they called him William. The last was I think the leader of the group. He was bigger and he was doing the cooking. The troll complained and yelled at the small one, a lot. He had this weird, scrappy beard. His name was Bert.

"I'm gonna look fur meat." William spat. "Tom, Bert stay and watch the mole." Their voice sounded heavy and thick.

"I'm not a mole!" I screamed, kicking in the sack. Suddenly a small rock came at me. I screeched and rolled over. "Stupid troll!" I screamed.

"Stupid mole!" The small one shouted at me.

I huffed in anger. "I'm not a mole!"

William soon came back with two ponies and left to get more.

Where the fuck did he get these from!? I was confused because he wasn't gone for that long. 

It wasn't long when he came back with two more.

Seriously! Where are these ponies coming from? There must be someone near...

"Mutton yesterday. Mutton today... And, blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." Bert whined, stirring the pot of grossness.

"Quit your griping. These ain't sheep. These is fresh nags." He replied, almost putting them on top of me.

"Stupid!" I spat at him.

He must not have heard me over the thick whiney voice of Tom.

"Oh! I don't like horse. I never have. Not enough fat on them." Tom complained with a nasally tone to his whiney voice.

"Well, it's better than leathery old farmer. All skin and bone, he was. I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth. I'm sure the fat mole will male a lovely pie." Bert said, taking a sip of what looked like green water.

I tried to kick at them but it was no use. "Shut up!" I screamed.

Suddenly Tom sneezed into the pot. I wanted to barf.

"Well, that's lovely, that is. A floater." Bert happily told the others.

Oh, ew! They're gonna eat his snot.

"Might improve the flavor," William said to Bert.

"Ah. There's more where that came from." Tom said, standing up.

Bert stood up and grabbed Tom's nose. "Oh, no, you don't!"

Tom was crying because of Bert.

I was fairly close to the horses. Hearing soft footsteps, I looked over and saw a man sneaking over.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

His hair was a tanish, orange color and he was very small with big feet. I'm going to assume that he's a Hobbit. But what was a Hobbit doing this far from the Shire?

"Shh." He told me, trying to untie the fence that locked me and the horses in.

When Tom turned around, the hobbit quickly ducked down, hiding from the trolls.

"Hey, you should untie me," I whispered to him, hoping he will.

"Untie you? I'm here to save the ponies, but... I guess I can." His words were soft and full of fear.

The hobbit stuck his arms through the fence and started to untie me. First, he unties the rope around my neck that kept the sack over my body. Pulling that off, he untied my hands and I took over from there.

"Thank you," I whispered to him.

He was kinda cute. His hair was a little messy and dirty, but he pulled it off.

Quietly, I crawled under the fence and got my stuff. I didn't have a lot, so that was good. I carried around a pot, a bowl, a big and small spoon, a change of clothes, two blankets, and my weapons. Since it was just me, I don't need much.

"I wouldn't spend too much time here. They're horrible trolls. And if you want the ponies, use a knife for the rope." I told him and quickly, but quietly bolted.

I could still hear the trolls thick voices. William was complaining about the cooking. How everything tastes like fish, except the fish, which tastes like chicken. Stupid trolls. Complaining about eating food. I wouldn't complain, but eating a farmer sounds weird...

Walking through crushed woods, I saw a light. More like a fire. Stalking closer, I could see dwarves. A lot of them. I don't want to interact with them. So I traveled around them and found a safe place to rest for the night. At the break of dawn, I'll be on my way. Still not sure where, but I'll be off.