Demons Control Us All

Suicide and Hatred

Skip this chapter if you don't like/ it makes you uncomfortable reading about self-harm or getting drunk  or attempting suicide -------------------------------------------------------------

Johnnie's mental state began to deteriorate again, rapidly. Nobody knew what triggered this sudden downfall, but not even Amelia could keep him from cutting his ghostly pale arms. He had also stopped eating regularly, perhaps only having food twice a week. This resulted in Johnnie becoming severely skinny, his cheekbones highlighted and his eyes appearing dark due to skin being pulled taught across his fragile bones, his ribs could be seen so clearly without a shirt on, and his entire body became weak.

Amelia sat in his room to comfort Johnnie, whereas his mother saw nothing of the two lovers. During the night when Johnnie couldn't sleep, he would watch Amelia sleeping perfectly, looking gorgeous and petite and innocent; he admired every inch of her.

A few days later, Amelia had to go out of Agloe for a few days, for a chance to get some time for herself. She did this twice a year, and Johnnie was okay with it, but he really needed her to stay this time. As Amelia left, he got very upset and mad at everything. His mum started to yell at him, so he yelled back before locking himself in his room where he cried into his pillow for hours. As he was crying, he remembered that he and Amelia had stashed away a few bottles of whiskey under a loose floorboard in his room. Johnnie found the floorboard through vision blurred with tears, and he pulled out a bottle.

He drank.

And he drank.

As he neared the bottom of the bottle, he could feel the weight and pain lifting off of his shoulders as the room began to spin like a carousel.

Johnnie sat with the empty bottle in his hands and tears staining his cheeks, he had the urge to release all of the pain inside him. He hadn't damaged his arms or thighs in a few weeks now. But he needed to now. Johnnie looked at the empty bottle, and he stood up. In a flurry of anger and upset, he threw the whiskey bottle to the floor, where it smashed and left shards of glass all over the floor.

He reached down to find the longest, sharpest shard, and then he sat on his bed. Johnnie held the glass in one hand, and outstretched his other arm, and without a second of regret, he pressed it into his pale skin. Crimson blood trickled down his arm, and it felt great. He did it again, but deeper this time. Johnnie loved to see the contrast between his colourless skin and the deep, deep red of the gushing blood. He wanted to call Amelia, but it went through to voicemail every single time, but Johnnie could still hear her voice... "Hi! Sorry you've just missed me, I'm probably doing something more fun then you anyway! *laughs* leave a message!" and then followed by the tone. So he left a message, between sobs; "Um...Hey...Amelia, I know you're busy but, um, I really need you here right now, so I don't know, call me when you get this?" and after that, he collapsed and wouldn't wake up again, until he heard a familiar voice...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry for the short chapter, I haven't had much time to write lately :(