Forever In My Heart (Sequel To LAFL)

Chapter || Five

Hearts live by being wounded.    

~Oscar Wilde

...

My fingers played with the hem of the scarlet dress my mother had given me over a year ago, the very same dress I had worn when I first encountered Devin. A small smile formed on my lips thinking back to that day. I had changed since then; I had grown since then. It is so astonishing how one person can make a great impact on your life, for the better or the worst.

Devin had been the only one that made me realize just what life was about after Asher. He gave me blissful memories that I would for sure keep and cherish. I would not forget about someone that made me happy for a part of my life. Although he had corrupt intents behind all his benevolent actions, I would let myself believe that at least for one moment that he was with me he had felt what I felt, the most delightful feeling a lonely soul could, happiness. He had made me happy.

My eyes drifted to my jewelry box that sat atop of my vanity table. In the last drawer was the wedding ring I had gotten on my wedding day. I walked over to it and opened that drawer and took out the small velvet box that encased the expensive diamond ring. With one movement of my thumb it opened to reveal the immense jewel that was held by a golden band. It was still in pristine condition, and when I slid it on my finger it fit to a tea.

Sidney's words played in my head as I stared at it and I thought back to what she had said to me earlier today.

"He was calling to see how you were doing, he has been calling everyday since the accident," Sidney said in a small voice. She had never been one to keep a secret from me and so I could tell how she felt. She felt miserable. Her green where staring at the window next to me instead of me and the tapping of her right foot filled the room. Both were signals of worry, worry of what I would say.

All I could manage to let out was a low, "how?"

Her eyes flickered towards me and she stopped all motion in her body. She was thinking about how to answer my fleeting question. Her eyes held mine and sympathy filled them.

"He was the one that rescued you from the car. He called me when you where being taken to the hospital, and I was the one that called your parents because he was afraid to tell them what had happened. Samantha he was a mess when you were unconscious. He didn't leave your side since you where at the hospital until his sister dragged him out." Sidney took my clamped hands in hers and pulled me into an embrace. Her honey sent relaxed my muscles and, I was back to when we were young and free of worry.

"I know this might not be something you'd want to hear after everything you guys have been through, but you could see the pain in his eyes when he sat next to you. The way he held your hands in his and prayed that you would wake up.

Although he was a jerk before, people learn from there mistakes and can change. He has changed."

Her words played in my head. Devin Maker had saved me from death, as cliche as it was, I was thankful that it had been him. That he had been the one, because as stupid and naive as I was, I still envisioned a better future with him. So many what ifs with no answers.

What if Devin was not so broken?

What if he had gotten feelings for me during the span of our marriage?

What if things had gone differently when I professed what I felt for him?

Yet, all of that was in the past. An old chapter in a sea of others waiting to be written. What mattered now was the present, and what I would do now with my life. Would I talk to him and thank him for being my savior, or would I just leave that in the past as well and make a new future with a new person?

My mind was tangled with all of the questions I had boggled myself with, and soon I fell to my bed with a long sigh. Why was life just so damn confusing? A question that surrounded everyone's thoughts yet bellowed in mine. It was a loud roar begging to be answered, but I could not, for I did not know the answer to such a question. It was a rhetorical question, even if the most intelligent one of all was asked that they would not be able to give you a clear reply. If you were to ask me I would simply not give an answer because there was none.

Sadly the answer to life as a whole would be different to everyone. Every little aspect of someone's life could change there perspective on the perfect response to life.

Life is love.

Life is family.

Life is protection.

Life is everything, yet nothing at all.

Us humans are just specks of dust in a world bigger than we could imagine, not even as big as a proton if you were to compare a human being with the whole universe. We are nothing to it but everything to ourselves. What matters most is self happiness and nothing less. We are meant to chose things that will satisfy us, but why is it so hard to do that?

I fall in love with those who hurt me the most and yet I could see a happy future with them. When I was with Asher as a adolescent I thought we were made for one another, that we completed the other. When I was with Devin at first I was so mad that my parents had chosen my future, but I grew to accept him as a person, as himself. Yet, in the end both relationships ended in misery. I was cheated on and denied of affection. I might have been acting petty and whining about my problems that were small compared to others, but to me they were everything. Like I said before the definition of life and the answers to it lie within an individual. Everyone goes through different paths in life and that ends up giving them different experiences than others, but that's what makes our world so unique and that is why even though we are so small we are giants.

To partially give some definition to my question of why life was so confusing, I would say it was because I allowed it to get that way.

A/N

It has been a long time!

I'm deeply sorry for the long wait on this chapter, but school is stressful at the moment. I was supposed to update this in October during my birthday week but no time came my way. Yes! My birthday passed and I turned 16! So consider this a late birthday gift from me :)

I hope everyone has been having a great day, week, month, year and everyone is happy because we all deserve a smile on our faces!

Bye guys, and I hoped you loved the chapter :)

P.S. The first chapter of Forever Alive has finally been posted on here :) So if your interested in Samantha and Asher's story go check it out!