Save Me From Myself (Dan Howell fanfiction)

TWENTY THREE- Oooh.

JFC guys. AHH. Over 4K reads and ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY VOTES. I can't thank you enough.

In other news, I had Delia Smith pancakes this morning.


~


*Anna's P.O.V.*

We walked back into the lounge and I say down next to Dan.

"Did you see Phil's tweet from last night?" Dan asks.

"Oh god," I say.

I unlock my phone and go on Phil's twitter.

'@danisnotonfire and @annaelouise are making strange noises in Dan's room ^~^'

"Phiiiiiiil," I groan.

"It's true though!" Phil laughs. "So, Anna, what do you want for your birthday?"

"Nothing," I say. They have already given me so much I don't want anything.

"Anna Josephine Louise Lancaster. You are getting something for your god damn twentieth birthday." Dan beckons.

"Fine. Hmm, surprise me..?" I give in.

"Well we better think fast, her birthdays in one week." Nicole looks at Dan and Phil.

"We'll talk later." Phil finishes.

"That's advisable," I say, "oh my god. I'm going to be twenty years old. Wow."

"Age sucks," Phil says.

"Sure does." Nicole agrees.

Damn.


~that night~

"Night guys," Nicole says before closing Phil's door.

Dan goes to his room and I go to the bathroom. I puke up what's left in my stomach and then I go on my phone and check twitter. All of my mentions are hate. So much fucking hate. Dan, Nicole and Phil always tell me that they're wrong and that I'm beautiful but I'm not. I'm an ugly fat whore and I want to die.

Wait, what?

Did I just say that? Do I actually want to die...?

Yes. I do.

Snap out of it, Anna!

You want to die.

Are you fucking serious!? think about Dan!!! Think about all the people that love you!

Nobody loves you. They're all faking it so in the end they can hurt you. That always happens. It happened with your parents, Matt, Sam, and now it's going to happen with Dan and Phil and Nicole. They're all going to hurt you. Nobody will ever love you.

Don't listen to them.
He loves you more than words could express.
With every 'I hate you' an 'I love you' is hidden beneath.

No, they don't.
You cut for a reason.
It took him so long to realize he loves you because your worthless.
He doesn't love you.
Nobody does.
Nobody ever will.
-
I was pulled out of my hateful thoughts by my hand slowly creeping up my arm.
I close my eyes and dig my nails into the gaping open cuts on my arm. I grit my teeth and try not to scream while tears come cascading out of my eyes. I push my fingers in deeper and accidentally let out a yelp. The blood gushes out of my arm and I start to get dizzy. I fall to the floor and cry out.

"Anna?! What's going on?!" Dan shouts from outside the bathroom.

"Dan..." I say vaguely.

"Anna!" Dan bursts in and rushes to my side.

"Dan... I'm sorry... I love you..." I whisper to him before blacking out.