Often // Attack On Titan

Chapter 3

•Eren's Point Of View•

Nock nock nock

I stood on the porch outside of Armin's grandfather's house. I'd stood here many times, but never since. I heard footsteps from I side and adjusted the bag strap that was on my shoulder. When the door opened, Mr Arlert stood in surprise.
"Ah! Eren!" He exclaimed, inviting me inside with a hand gesture. I smiled back and shut the door behind me. Not sure what to do, I stood in the hallway as he walked into the kitchen. "Tea or coffee, Eren?" He called as I noticed a kettle boiling.
"I'm fine, I don't want to inconvenience you any more," I replied. I heard him laugh and place two mugs onto the counter.
"Coffee it is," he stated, obviously remembering which I liked. I chuckled and entered the kitchen.
"Thank you," I said, sitting down on a high stool. He placed my coffee in front of me and took a seat opposite.
"How have you been?" He asked, taking a sip from the steaming mug.
"Okay," I responded. "School is still stressful though," I laughed and he smiled. "How about you?" I enquired, as he looked down into his coffee.
"It's lonely without him," he sighed, taking another drink. "Are you still visiting?" I nodded my head in answer. "Stop, let me worry about him. You worry about school, your friends, okay? Live your life everywhere, not in a hospital room Eren. I know you've heard this before, but please." He was right, I had been told before. I knew I should worry more about school and friends but I'd feel like I was giving up if I completely stopped visiting.

I finished my coffee in a huge gulp and stood up to take it to the sink. "I'll do that Eren." The old man said, but I turned on the tap anyway.
"Do you mind if I go in his room?" I asked over the sound of running water. He seemed shocked by my question, but said yes. "Thank you for the coffee," I said, leaving the kitchen and running off up the stairs.

The room was a mess. The curtains were closed messily, the bed was left messily, the desk was littered messily. I started by drawing the curtains and opening up the blinds, they were covered in a thick sheet of dust which made me cough when I pulled them up. I pushed the windows wide open and started on making the bed.

Once the rest of the room was clean, that was when I looked at the bottle of pills. They had been discarded, open, on the floor. There was only two or three left in what most likely was a full bottle. I didn't even realise I was crying until I felt a tear fall onto my hand. I sat on the floor and sobbed, leaning against the wall. "Armin, why didn't you speak to me?" I whispered, half expecting a reply. I felt a twinge of anger, couldn't he have talked to me? I stood up rather quickly and threw the almost-empty bottle of pills as far out of the window as I could. If only he could have done the same, maybe I wouldn't be so alone.

[...]

"Hey Eren!" Mikasa grinned once she saw me. "I didn't think you were coming," she said and I felt guilty. Was I really that ignorant?
"I wouldn't miss it for the world! Can't wait to see you play. Oh, sorry... I mean Slay." Mikasa blushed slightly and we both laughed. She lifted a bottle of water to her mouth and drank for a second, before returning her attention back to me.
"You didn't need to come you know," she said, looking at me as if I was the one who had been ignored. I felt so bad and regretted terribly ignoring her for weeks, that it made me want to beg for forgiveness. The match was minutes from starting, and she was wasting her time on me.
"Yes I did, now go win that match!" I said, laughing and motioning for her to leave. She waved goodbye and jogged off to start warming up.

Mikasa won the match with some crazy score, not unexpected from her. To celebrate, we met up with a few other people from our friendship group, and ate at a local diner. The food wasn't very good, but we all had an amazing time. As I faded into the background of jokes and laughing, I started to feel like things were starting to go back to normal. I didn't want to lose hope, but I knew I had other things to prioritise.