Adrian and Patrick

11

The upstairs was amazing; Adrian'd put a crib in my room by my bed and baby-proofed nearly everything. The bathroom was spotless with baby soap underneath the sink and a training toilet. There were 'Parenting for Beginners' books on my desk, and the whole my house smelled like lilac's - my mom's favorite flower.

I'm not sure at what point during the silent tour tears started streaming down my face, but both Adrian and I became aware of it when we came upon my parents untouched bedroom.

A chocked sound tore out of my throat, and Adrian turned around surprised, watching me for a minute as I fall back against the door.

Adrian rushed forward and caught me when I began tilting and slipping, my knees giving out as all the grief I'd ignored hit me all at once. "Shh, Pat." Adrian whispered to me as he held me to his chest, me clutching onto him as sobs wracked my body. "I've got you." I pressed my face into Adrian's shoulder and he nuzzled my hair, whispering sweet nothings to me as i felt the full force of my parent's deaths.

They were gone...they were actually gone.

I'd never get to talk to them again, never get to tell them that I loved them or feel my mom rub my back when I didn't feel well. I would never feel my dad hug me or eat dinner with them as a family again...and that was utterly heartbreaking.

I continued to sob onto Adrian as he lifted my legs up, placing them around his waist. He opened the door to my parent's room and walked out, carrying me down the steps and to the couch, where he sat us down - me still on his lap - and hugged me to him once again.

We sat like that for a while until I finally calmed down enough to take complete notice of our rather compromising position. I didn't move, though. I needed this; needed to be able to pretend that at least one thing in my life was going as I'd always hoped it would. So, utterly exhausted, I nuzzled my face into Adrian's neck and heard his breath catch.

His grip tightened on me for a second, and that's when I knew that this moment was over. He comforted me; he was an amazing friend, but that all he was - a friend - and he was probably getting uncomfortable now. I sighed.

Starting to pull away, I lifted my head and began unwrapping my arms from around his neck. When I started to slide off his lap, however, Adrian caught my hips and held me in place.

My heart started beating faster as I looked down at his hands gripping my hips before slowly bringing my eyes up to his. My breath caught at the heated look in his eyes.

"Adrian...?" I whispered, watching his eyes as they moved to my mouth when I spoke. I could feel his harsh breath on my face, and my mouth lightly parted as I watched a slightly lustful look enter his eyes. My tongue darted out to wet my lips and I saw Adrian's jaw clench, his hands copying his jaw's movement on my hips.

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