My Beautiful One

19. Stay with me

They say people look younger when they're asleep.

I've always said they just look dead.

But only when I was with Sebastian that time he was unconscious from demon poison did I understand that that statement was somewhat true, because he did look younger. He looked young and innocent with his mask of carefully controlled expression stripped away, and it was a strange thing to see.

Quit staring, Amari. I reprimanded myself, turning away from him and going back to busying myself with medical supplies. I'd carved a few iratzes onto his skin, cleaned his wounds demon anti-venom, and removed all his blood-splattered gear, yet he was still unconscious.

When I felt that I'd exhausted all possible things to do (there was nothing else I could do, after all), I sat down on the chair next to the bed, and carried on watching him in case he woke up. But time passed, and as hours went by, my eyelids began to droop, and eventually I fell asleep.

*   *   *

 “Wait!” He cried, and ran right to the water’s edge. “You didn’t tell me your name!”

 “Amari!” I yelled back, leaning slightly over the railing to see him. “Amari Silverdown.”

 He nodded, his lips shaping my name.

 “Who are you?” I shouted as an afterthought.

 “I’m Jonathan Morgenstern. I won’t forget you, Amari.”

"Amari?"

"Yes?" I mumbled back. I was dreaming, and even though I knew that Jonathan Morgenstern hadn't called out to me a second time, the memory was a fond one. I didn't want it to end.

"What are you doing here?" Jonathan asked, his voice deeper, older, and strangely loud despite the fact that the boat was drawing far away from the shore. All I could see of him was a thin silhouette with a flash of bright hair.

"Leaving you... for New York... Don't you remember how you saved me?" I was lying on something that though it was a little hard, was irresistibly warm. I nestled my cheek into it, scrunching my eyes tight shut. I could feel myself waking up, but I was just so comfortable, and the dream was such a respite from all the previous ones of torture...

But he didn't reply to my question, and suddenly I became worried. Maybe Valentine had got him. Maybe Valentine was hitting him, torturing him, killing him for helping me escape.

I woke up abruptly.

I have to help him. I have to-

"Jonathan!" I screamed, my eyes flying open.

"I'm okay, Amari. It's okay, I'm here." I realised that somehow I had gotten onto the bed and was lying right next to another person with my head resting on their shoulder. I felt that person’s arm go around my shoulders, but I didn't see it as comfort. I saw it as a restraint, and cringed away from it. I stumbled off the bed, still not entirely sure what was dream and what was reality as I stood with my back to the wall.

I was in a room. The room that had been mine since Sebastian had brought me here. And yet on my bed, staring at me with the wide dark eyes I remembered from my childhood was Jonathan Morgenstern.

"Amari... are you okay?" He asked unsteadily.

I ignored his question. "Are you Jonathan Morgenstern?" I asked slowly.

He sat up and stared at me for a moment, an incredulous expression on his face. But then he snapped out of it and shook his head quickly. "No." He said with such certainty that I immediately believed him, and slid down the wall to sit with my knees pushed up to my chest.