L O U I S V I L L E || A Bryson Tiller Story

§ Chapter FortyNine §

~...we've got to fix this here, oh yeah (oh yeah, oh yeah)--been through some shit this year...~

So what's it going to be?

The words Swan spoke to me yesterday echoed in my head as I sat there staring at her brown skin.

"Bryson," Naomi called my name softly," I really am so sorry. I regret everything. Please, I never--"

"Hush," I say coolly looking down at my Vans.

This was going on to be the third time she's apologized to me since we've been sitting here, in her driveway on top of my car hood.

I had called her and told her that we should talk, but for the past twenty minutes, Naomi's been the only one speaking. I wanted to say something but I didn't know quite where to start. On my way here I had even practiced on what to say or even where on her face I would punch her, but I wasn't going to put my hands on her. One time of that is enough. Instead, once she walked out of that house to meet me outside, I went totally blank and I still am.

"Ok," Naomi murmured looking at the side of my face. I could tell she was trying to figure out what I was thinking. If only she knew it was nothing going on in my head for the moment.

"I hate the fuck out of you," I finally broke my silence.

Naomi fixed her mouth to say something but I held my index finger up to my lips.

"Don't say shit. Listen. You've proven to be pretty good at that," I shaded.

Naomi licked her lips and nodded.

"I hate what you did to me even more than I hate you. You might be the sorriest person I know right now, and I get that you're sorry but sorry won't won't change what you did. I mean my four year old daughter practically looks up to you and I don't know how to tell her that her favorite person ain't shit," I continued, airing out what I felt without caring how it affected Naomi," I swear I want to hurt you way more than you hurt me so you can feel it. The only thing stopping me is the fact that I'm not a low down person like you."

Naomi's eyes were filled with guilt and regret as she listened to me. I avoided looking into them until I got what I needed to say off my chest.

"You already know that about me though. Maybe that's why you took my kindness for weakness and played on it," I said looking straight ahead of me," And as much as I want nothing-absolutely not a motherfucking thing to do with your sorry ass, I can't stop thinking about it...about you."

I watched as Naomi bit down on her lip and rubbed her sweaty palms together. It wasn't hot, in fact it was getting even cooler since the sun was going down. She was just nervous, I suppose.

"I can't quit thinking about you either, obviously. I've called a million times and apologized the same," Naomi replied timidly," I want to fix this. I want to make it better."

"Better, huh?" I sigh finally looking into her enchanting light brown eyes.

Naomi nodded her head rapidly," I do. Tell me how to right my wrongs?"

"Here," I reached into the front pocket of my Nike windbreaker jacket and handed her a white envelope.

"What's this?" Naomi inquired staring at it in her hands.