Ridiculous: Mattory

17: Find You in the Day

Matt

Whatever I'm expecting to come in the morning, it's not hearing that Mallory has taken leave for the rest of August. Her words from yesterday suddenly come into startling clarity.

"You're going to miss me more before very long."

Whitney says she's gone traveling. I can't help but wonder if she's running away from me.

A letter comes in the mail for her that day. There is no return address and it's written on creamy white paper that looks oddly familiar. It reminds me of a day, a lifetime ago, when she'd spoken of a secret admirer and teased me about being jealous.

And I am jealous—if only because whoever this is might still hold some semblance of her affection.

Another letter comes the next day. And the day after that. Two the fourth day, and again on the fifth and sixth. We all look at each other, shake our heads, and set them aside for her return.

I stop keeping track of them after that. It hurts too much.

I wonder if the rest of the cast has noticed how steadily I begin to draw in on myself in Mallory's absence. With the perfect vision that hindsight gives me, I realize I should have reached out to her long before now; accepted the apology she'd offered the day after we broke up. Maybe we could have salvaged something out of the wreckage. But the wound had been too fresh and now I think we'd both pushed each other away for good. It doesn't stop me from missing her like I'd miss a limb.

Sometimes I think of calling her. Sometimes I even pull out my phone when the thought crosses my mind.

I'm very, very close to doing that now, two weeks into her vacation, when Stacey's voice breaks through my thoughts. "I think the fans have figured out that Mal's gone," he says, eyes on his laptop as he speaks to Adam. He must be chatting with the fans in the wake of tonight's video.

Mal's gone. The words ring through my head even if I know that the situation is temporary. At least, I pray it is. She has to come back, doesn't she?

"They've definitely noticed," Adam replies, leaning over Stacey's shoulder to read from the screen. I glance up from my phone and look between the two of them.

"You guys on comment duty tonight?" I ask, though it's painfully clear that at least Stacey is.

"I am," Stacey says, just as Adam responds "Not me."

"Right," I say.

Stacey taps out something on the keyboard. "'Mallory is on personal leave at the moment and will be back at the beginning of September. I'm sure she'll be happy to know you guys are missing her.' How does that sound?"

"Sounds fine to me," Adam says. "Matt?"

"Matt what?" I ask sharply.

"You think it sounds all right?" Stacey asks. I lift one shoulder in a shrug and go back to what I reading.

From the corner of my eye, I see them exchange glances. "Stacey, did I tell you my old friend Nicole was in town the next few weeks?" Adam says, a little too loudly and deliberately.

There's a long pause before Stacey speaks again. "Oh, yeah! Didn't you two grow up together or something?"

"Been friends since the second grade," says Adam. I see him glance over at me. "You'd like her, Matt."

"Would I really," I respond dryly, not bothering to look up.

"She'd like you," Adam insists, and I groan.