Beyond The Needle

Bubble

Lately I've been wondering - have had too many thoughts in my head,

Thoughts about mistakes and good times, decisions and regret,

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In life we make choices, and it's only afterwards we get to reflect,

To silently sit and ponder; 'was this for the best, did I fail or did I do it correct?'

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There was a time where I only did wrong; robberies, graffiti and mugging,

I stole things for money and money for weed, all so I could continue doing my drugging.

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Today I have regrets; they are lessons I shouldn't have learned mentally,

How to cook heroin, snort coke and be high on ecstasy,

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But now I know and I regret it, but not for the reasons you think,

After a lesson learned, you should know better - you should have that missing link,

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Instead of a soul-wash, a life better, embracing that miracle saving,

All I can feel inside me and hear speak to me, is an urge, a craving,

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Good deeds are like bubbles, so fragile and easy to blow,

Even though they are prettiest alive, we still choose to pop them, why do we do so?

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It's the decisions that we make that define who we are, they say;

'it's the thought that counts', but guess what, my only thoughts are about MDMA.

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At the end of a poem, there's suppose to be a message,

A valuable point to teach the readers I've moved on from being a wreckage,

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But truth is, I might be sober right now, but I'm just as fucked up inside as I was before,

Just waking up and staying on track everyday is a goddamn chore,

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I'll say this though, once you find the thing that balances the scale,

It's like finding an angel - Jesus - the holy freaking grail,

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That's about the size of it, I got nothing more to say,

I'll put my pen down now and go pay the bills I got to pay.

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