Beyond The Needle

At Last

Well, hello my old friend. There you are again.

How've you been, my dear - my old ball-and-chain.

~

It's been a long time coming, I've known that for while,

I chose to cover it up and hide it, I masked my suffering with a smile.

~

But there comes a time where even the strongest of masks they crack,

We're all soldiers waiting to face our battles, that is an undeniable fact.

~

I've faced many wars in my life, but one always seems to be reoccurring,

Always nestling inside me, brewing; always silently stirring,

~

I've been hit thrice now, the first my bloodiest war,

The second was my rematch, while my third was my last battle roar.

~

I've fought you so many times now, I can no longer call you my fiend,

After so many encounters and nights spent fighting you, it now feels more appropriate to call you a friend.

~

But like water and oil, my life and you don't mix very well,

And yet despite knowing that, I still decided to take that fix, fucking hell.

~

Resisting you is not the problem, it's missing what you give.

Because despite the blood you shed each time, it's the simplest life I'll ever live.

~

When your mind isn't stressed on paying bills, working two jobs and keeping your girl happy,

Instead you float around on a careless cloud, for the small cost of living crappy.

~

As I sit and reflect, I begin to wonder if we ever truly were at war, if you were hitting me with your boxing glove,

Or were you just grabbing onto me, shaking me, trying to make me realize what I love,

~

That morning when I woke up in the hospital and I laid sight on my girl's red and tired eyes,

I knew that this was the end for sure, no more drugging, no more silent cries.

~

But knowing and doing are two very different things,

It's the difference between flying and actually having wings.

~

I have preached each of my lessons down in these poems,

But now as I come to my last, I realize, nothing rhymes with poems.

~

I don't know if I'll succeed in my endeavors, if I'll stay clean, work off the stress or marry my girl,

But that's part of the mystery, I guess, and I guess, someday, I'll just have to give it all a whirl,

~

But as for now, I think I'm good, I'm set with what I got,

Supportive fans, a happy lady and battle scars to remember that I fought.

~

I've learned and shared my thoughts and struggles, and know there'll come many more over the years,

And therefore, I end with what I'll always strive for in my life: lots and lots of
Cheers

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