Almost [Raphael X Depressed!Reader]

Not an update

I just need to kinda let it out I guess and you guys don't need to read this but I'm just really frustrated

My parents are driving me insane and I know it sounds like some normal angsty teenage crap but honestly I can't deal with this.

I literally haven't been to school for one whole week this year because of the anxiety and every time they have to come get me early they yell at me because I'm "overreacting" and its "just ridiculous to not be able to go to school for a week" and it's just making things worse bc now I don't even want to go home

And I've been both days so far this week and it's spirit week and my friends are just like "dress up, Hads, it'll be fun" so I said okay and I have and and it has been fun but Thursday is character day and my friends wanted to do bobs burgers bc we all like the show and I was supposed to be Louise but I don't have anything to be Louise so I asked my mom to take me to the store today and she made a whole bunch of excuses as to why she couldn't. First it was she just didn't want to spend her money on it as she saw it as a waste so I told her I'd buy it. When she said she didn't want to drive I told her I would so she wouldn't have to deal with that. Then she just yelled at me and told me no because she just didn't feel like going and I wanted to cry because right as i was leaving my brother came downstairs and asked if she could take him to the store to get his favorite drink for after football practice and of course she got in the car right then to go get it from Walmart which is like thirty minutes away.

Then they spontaneously decided "I don't want a cat anymore" so they took Lupin and just gave her away to someone and they didn't even tell me until I came home and realized she wasn't in my room like she usually was so I asked if they saw her and they were like "oh yeah, sorry hadlee we gave her away oops!" And I just got so angry and sad and I didn't know what to do so I just started crying and they told me to calm down because it was just a cat and we could just get a dog instead but I'm allergic to dogs so I don't really understand

Plus I'm relapsing so bad rn and they just keep telling me to stop being dramatic and eat and it's like I can't it's not that I just don't want to I physically can not eat food because every time I do I feel sick to my stomach and there's this voice in my head telling me I'm gonna be fat and that I need to throw it up and if I don't no one will love me because I'll be so massive and I know it's not true but I can't y'know actually listen to my rational self

As there's this girl at my school who keeps making me feel really uncomfortable because she keeps touching me and walking down the hall with her arm around me and she hugs me when we go our separate ways and last year she liked me and I think she thinks we're dating but we're not because I'm not interested in her I don't even like girls that way I just want to be friends

And even better my dad is getting laid off because his company is shutting down and every time I ask for something small like a new charger or headphones or something he goes "hadlee do you think we're made of money?? I'm about to lose my job!" But when my brother asks for twenty one pilots concert tickets they somehow manage to get enough money for near front row seats? And even though twenty one pilots is my favorite band they're just like "sorry hadlee, this is a bonding experience for me and Jackson!! Maybe next time (:" but every time there is a next time it's a bonding experience for dad and Jackson and I don't get it

My therapist said that I should do a sport and I really wanted to do volleyball so when volleyball tryouts were like a month ahead I told my mom and she said she'd take me and I reminded her the week before and she said she never heard about it and that she was too busy to take me but she owns the store she works at so she can literally make her own hours. So I said okay and waited for something else and I wanted to join the swim team and tryouts are happening but it's a club sport and it's like twenty minutes away and she said she didn't feel like traveling that far every day just to bring me to practice. My therapist still wants me to do a sport but I can't because the only one still doing tryouts is cheerleading and the cheerleaders intimidate me because they're so judgmental towards everyone who isn't their friends

And a couple weeks ago my parents asked what was the matter with me so I told them I just didn't like it in my house because just the environment and I told them every reason why because they just wouldn't leave me alone until I told them and then they got mad at me for being ungrateful for what I had and that I had a family that loved me and I was so stressed out

But I could go on for hours about this and I doubt anyone read this actually but it's just the reason why I haven't been updating and I'm really trying but I'm just trying to figure out what's going on with my family right now because it's killing me