Dan's PoV
When we get to the park, and we got ourselves Starbucks, we just head out to sit on a bench and watch the leaves fall. We're careful not to be too physical, because we see viewers in this park quite often and we can't risk people finding out.
We just talk. About Dil, about my new video, how concerned Phil was when I almost blinded myself. It's perfect, how we laugh and smile. I've been doing a lot better recently, I think to myself.
I'm not having as many crisises and I'm dealing with the reoccurring thought of death a lot better. I'm blaming it on how well me and Phil are getting a long. I guess I'm just happy, and that's all I've wanted for a long time.
Some views come up to talk to us, and we smile and take selfies. If only they knew we were on a date. I laugh internally at the fact that we're practically leading our viewers on. I feel bad, but I'm not ready to let them know. Phil's told me so many times how he feels about it, we should let them know, it's wrong that we don't tell them. He's so honest. Everyone's favourite Angel bean.
And that's the moment where I realise I've been talking to myself. Oh dear.
We end up throwing leaves at each other on the way back. I feel like I'm 10 years old, but it's fun. He throws a butt ton of leaves down the back of my jumper, and I have some right in his face. It was a moment to be captured. We're both smiling and laughing, both of us thinking about the times in 2009 that we met and would talk and how far we've come. And that's the second awkward moment of the day. I begin to cry.
Phil gets a taxi and takes us home. When we get to the couch I'm a crying mess. All of the emotion, the tiredness of the tour and the built up thoughts of death all come to me at once. And Phil sits there patting me on the shoulder and softly speaking in a calm voice. I've painted a picture of an existential crisis as funny and a joke on my channel. This is the reality. They occur at any moment? Even when I'm the happiest I've ever been. Having a leaf fight with your boyfriend is meant to be fun and happy, full of kisses in the park. I have to keep it a secret because of my viewers. Life's too short. But I'm not mentally prepared for anything too drastic. I lean into Phil, who pulls me into a hug.
"Just remember how much you mean to me," I whispers, "not even death will stop that."
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AN- Cherry talking. I'm sorry this was so bad, I think I have some kind of writers block, everything is coming out so badly. I've been really busy and I still haven't had time to think up a proper plot to this fic, and neither had Lemon. I'm sorry, I'm trying to work harder on my chapters :) xx
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"I'm probably the happiest I've ever been"-Dan - Phan
FanfictionDan and Phil don't share as much of their life in the Internet as they say they do. Behind the cameras and editing, there's a lot going on, a lot their fan base would want. Now it's Winter and their lives are more perfect than ever. No triggers or...
