You see me as kind and sweet but beware for your eyes will fool you. Im a bully with an ice for a heart and a sword for my tongue. Im arrogrant and shall destroy your confidence for my own laughter. Im cruel and selfish. Boastful and imprudent. Im dependent and I may use you, as a tool or as my laughing stock. But when I start to show these to you, please dont leave. Behind that wrathful eyes and careless actions is a child who can never thinks and yet regrets. With every sharp word I spill, those words haunts me but I just cant manage to say Im sorry. Everyday, Im so glad to have you as my friends but sometimes I feel like I dont deserve people who makes me smile and laugh while here I am who laughs out of your silly actions. I dont mind to correct you at times though I know youll be laughing stock but trust me when I say, "I wanted to but I also want to smile." Im selfish. Im sorry. But what do a sorry gives than just an empty word. Im struggling to control myself and be less careless . I hope you know Im doing my best to avoid spitting out sharp words or laying my heavy hand on you. I hope you notice when I think that I should just stay silent before I can hurt anyones feelings. Im sorry. You gave me the best memories but all I can give you is shame. Im sorry. I cant even let you read this because I dont want you to know im suffering from my own personality. But on the other side, I wish you knew. I wish you'll stay despite all the bad I have in me.
