The Reichenbach Fall (Sherlock X Female!Reader)

Prologue

You sigh as you enter the therapist office. "Welcome Miss (L/N)." Doctor Ella, John's therapist, greets you. You just glare at her and nod as You take a chair near the window. You look out and see the rain pouring down and hear the thunder rumble. Hmm...it's like the weather is doing how I feel You think as you settle yourself in the chair and stare at the therapist.

She was rambling on about something but you weren't listening, the fact is you didn't want to be here but John and Mrs Hudson talked you into it. "Miss (l/n)?" You hear her say. You look over at her as you see she has a concerned look on her face.

"Look I'm here to help. Your friend, and my client, John Watson, said you have been shut off from the world and you don't act like yourself anymore." She said.

You snorted at this and said. "Yes. Good old John Watson, always trying to look out for me. Look, I really don't want to be here. I think this whole therapy thing is just a waste of time, so don't expect me to come back. I'm only doing this because John and Aunt Martha wouldn't leave me alone about it."

Ella shakes her head slightly and said. "(Y/N), I know you think coming to a therapist is showing you are weak. But it doesn't once you come out and say what's on your mind, you'll feel better. Keeping it bottled up inside, it's not healthy."

You look up at her and snarled. "D'you want to hear me say it?" You asked her, angrily. When she doesn't respond, you ask. "D'you read the papers?"  

"Sometimes." She replied.

"And you watch the Telly? And, like you said, you talk to John. You know why I'm here." You said, your voice rising with every word.

"Yes, but you need to let it out. Once you let it out, it will help you to recover from your grief. Yes, I've heard it from John but now it's your turn." She said calmly and you just wanted to punch her for being so calm.

She has no idea of what you are going through. You feel like a part of you is gone. You feel empty. You don't feel whole again. "What happened, (y/n)?" She asked you, quietly. You close your eyes and hold back the tears and look back at her your face full of loss. "S...s...Sh..." You stuttered and you try to clear your throat. You couldn't say his name, you actually haven't said his name since that day. "You need to get it out, (y/n)." Ella said, gently.

"Sher...Sherlock Holmes.....my best...friend....and the....love of....my life...." You said and you choke up again as the visions of that day flash before your eyes. The phone call, the goodbye, shouting his name, the fall and his face, eyes wide open, blood running down his face. You sniff at this and force yourself to say the last two words. "...is dead." You said and then you broke down into tears.

About an hour later, you make it back to the flat and enter as your aunt greets you. "(Y/N), dear. How was therapy?" She asked you gently. You look up at her and shake your head. She frowns, walks towards you and gives you a hug and you couldn't help but cry again. "Shhh....it's okay (y/n)....it's okay....I miss him, too." She said to you as she holds back tears.

That night, you tossed and turned in your bed as that day keeps replaying in your mind. Goodbye, (y/n). I love you. You hear his voice say that over and over along with you and John screaming his name as you see him fall. You snap your eyes open and start to hyperventilate.

You sit up in your bed and try to calm yourself down. You get up and grab your dressing gown, wrap yourself with it, head out of your aunt's flat and head up the stairs to his flat.

You use the key he gave you and unlock the door. The place still looks the same only difference is he is not sitting in his chair, in his mind palace or standing by the window, turning around to greet you.

You walk to his bedroom and open the door and see that he's bedroom looks the same the last time you were in here. You sigh, heavily, as you pull the sheet back, climb into the bed and wrap the sheet around you, laying your head down.

Still smells like him You thought. You sniff into the pillow as it, strangely, gave you comfort. You smiled a little and fall asleep.