The phone is ringing in my hand and I almost hang up but something keeps my finger hovering above the button. I bite my lip and slam my face into my hand. "Jace? You missing me? You know, I did only see you a couple hours ago, but I suppose-"
"Shut up Simon." God, I hate this guy. Always preaching about how well he knows Clary, as if I care. I think he thinks I'm in love with her-the idiot.
"Okay, so, l'm just gonna throw my dignity under the bus here and ask for your help." This is killing me, seriously.
"My help?" The smugness in his voice is tangible.
"Yes, it's that thing you sometimes give to people when they need it. Sound familiar?"
"Not really, I think you're gonna have to spell it out to me-"
"Just go to the institute, mundane."
I hang up and let out an inward "ugh." Today really is a dark, dark day.
When I walk in Simon is sitting hunched in a chair, skinny limbs tangled as always. For an unsure moment I just look at him, at the elegant line of his spine through one of those stupid video game t-shirts. His face is turned slightly towards me and his cheekbones stand out starkly against the pale of his face. I spend I second noticing this and a second wondering why.
"So... You need my help?"
"Um, yeah. D'you wanna, like, go somewhere...?"
I give him a look which says yes, you do.
"Sure."
As soon as I've shut the door of my room I turn on him.
"You told Clary you're in love with her!" I blurt out. He looks shocked, a little confused and very embarrassed.
"That-that was ages ago. I'm, well, I'm over that now. Anyway, you're the one who swept her away to your magical greenhouse and made out with her in the middle of the night!"
"What? You think I wanted that?! Jesus, Simon, do you know anything?!" There's a moment of silence. He doesn't understand, and his brow if furrowed deeply while his little mundane mind tries to work it all out.
"Is this why you brought me here? To interrogate me about what never happened between me and Clary? And secondly, what do you mean you didn't want that? I know she's your sister, but you didn't know that. You were- and I'd imagine you still are-in love with her! You can't just go around acting like that never happened, Jace!"
A laugh a low, slow, mirthless chuckle, and bitterness spreads itself across my face. Licking my lips, I look at the floor because the alternative is his eyes and I can't deal with that right now.
"I am not in love with Clary. I never was. She's not exactly... My type." I look up at him now and his eyes widen with realisation.
"Oh wow. Wow. That's- wow."
I sit down on the bed next to him and shut my eyes.
"That's not particularly helpful, mundie."
"My, my, we are in trouble. You can't come out to your sister because... She's in love with you. That's- a lot to take in." He pauses for a minute, before I helpfully adding: "Wait wait wait wait wait, hold up, are you and Alec-?"
He's so infuriating, so stupid. Just a stupid little human.
"No! No, me and Alec are not- no! He's my brother! Christ."
He rolls his eyes and turns on the TV, settles down on my bed, changes the channel. We watch it in silence for a minute, drinking in the weirdness of the current situation. A mischievous smile dawns across his face.
"Well, it never stopped Clary."
Where r u?
The Institute
What?! Has something happened Si?
No dw I'm just chilling with Jace
Wth?????? As in, Jace my brother Jace?
The one and only, yes. Chill, Miss Fray, it's not the end of the world.
I'm so confused
Really? Me too. Night, Clary. See ya tomorrow xx
Okay... Night Si xx
"Simon Lewis! You throw like a girl."
He doesn't look particularly hurt. He hurls another knife at the target with a grunt and this time it hits it, far too the right but on the target all the same. I grin, dropping from my watching place in the rafters. "Nice work, mundane. Although, you do realise this doesn't mean I like you, right? I still hate your mundie guts."
"Got it, Angel boy." But he's smiling too. He sinks to the floor with his back against a training mirror. "Stand your lazy ass up. Time for swords."
He stands up but backs away, shaking his head. "No no no. No thank you. Nope."
I tear a sword off the wall and throw it too him. He yelps but catches it okay, and with Alec's Raven black gear on he actually looks like a shadowhunter. "Come on now. Come at me."
He looks sceptically at the weapon in his hand and takes a step forward. Suddenly there's a clash of steel on steel and he's fighting me, his sword flashing as I parry his blows. Somehow (and I have no idea how, my swordsmanship is impeccable, I assure you) he yanks my sword out my hand and then it's behind my head, and the tip of his rests on my neck. His face is close to mine, and he's sweating, and his hair is falling into his eyes which are burning with intensity.
"I have questions." He says curiously. I glance down at the blade on my neck but I know he'd never actually do it.
"Fire."
"You're into guys, right?" I hesitate. I've never actually put it into words before.
"Right," I force.
"But when I came today you didn't intend to tell me that, right?"
I've no idea where he's going with this.
"Right."
"But when we went into your room you asked about me and Clary. Why?"
I don't know, I don't know.
"I needed to know," it's true, but I just don't know, I don't know.
His eyes flash and then suddenly the sword on my neck is replaced by a hand and there's a crash as it falls to the ground.
"Jace.." He mutters and then his mouth is on mine and I fall back against a wall. I don't know what's happening and I'm so mad at him for kissing me and I'm also lost in my lust for him and his for me. I pull away from him just a millimetre. "But-Clary?" I whisper.
"Once, yes. But now- there's only you." This time he deepens his kiss and I'm exposed, vulnerable. I don't know what to do with my body, my hands, but his are sure and steady. I'm shaking and he's a rock, he's my rock. This is Simon, Simon who I hate, Simon who's every word makes me want to strangle him. Simon who's scared of my brother, Simon who's killed more demons in video games than in real life, Simon telling me not to be afraid, it's alright. Simon taking a step back with a finger under my chin, Simon smiling like he owns me, Simon walking away while I stand here shellshocked. And then it comes to me, of course- it's always been Simon.
----------
Well this should be fun, I think, as I walk towards Clary and Jace who are standing outside the diner. We go in, order milkshakes, slide into a booth. "So... You two hanging out yesterday... What's all that about?" Clary doesn't even bother to hide her surprise that Jace and I are now on speaking terms. "Oh, you know, we had some stuff to talk about," I say mysteriously, trying not to smile at Jace's look of concern. "Then we just... Experimented a little," Jace's concern has turned to alarm and is wide eyes are asking me what the hell in doing. "With weapons, I mean."
He relaxes.
"I'll tell you what, though. Angel Boy really knows his way around a training room."
That's when Jace snorts his milkshake all over the table.
