[This is not a part of Blood Red, Ocean Black. Sorry to disappoint. Enjoy the brief diversion.]
In which all are English, and Jace is Keira Knightley, or something to that effect.
"Are you in love with her?" The voice startles me, out of no where. "I just thought I'd ask, in case you were and you wanted to talk about it or..." It's Alec, Jace's brother. He's been watching me watch them dance, Jace and Clary, with there foreheads pressed together and his hands clutching the white of her dress. "What? No. No! God, no. I mean- no!" Alec's mouth twists upwards with amusement, which I haven't seen him do that many times during our brief interactions. "So that's a no?" He jokes softly, sitting down next to me at the edge of the dance floor. I laugh a little, feeling embarrassed, like a schoolboy who's been caught doing something he shouldn't.
"The wedding was beautiful, wasn't it?" He's making small talk. I nod, the lump that's refused to dislodge from my throat all day threatening to push it's way up into my mouth and make me cry. I don't say anything, because I know my voice will be hoarse and croaky. There's a pressure underneath each of my eyes. "What do you think, eh? Worst DJ in history?" I swallow hard. Try to let myself get lost in jokes and pleasantries and ignore the couple dancing three metres away. "I think it all hangs in the balance of the next song." He nods seriously. I notice Clary's hand wrap around Jace's neck. If they kiss I think I might throw up.
The DJ starts speaking on the system. He's American, with a lisp. "Now a song for the lovers among you out there. Enjoy, beautiful people..." And slowly but surely, Puppy Love begins to play, and I feel every ounce of my dignity fall to the floor. Alec next to me leans back in his chair with a sigh. "It's official- worst DJ in history." Suddenly it's all a bit too much for me, so I make my excuses and move to the bathroom, where I burst into tears, throw up, calm down, splash my face with water and then burst into tears again, siting with my knees pulled up in a stall with the door locked. Then I wade back into the hell of the ballroom, grab my video camera and sneak out.
---
Simon?
Clary! How was the honeymoon?
Beautiful, yeah. Really nice.
Good.
Listen, Jace wants to talk to you, can I patch you over?
[silent, internal sigh] fine.
And Simon?
Yes?
Be nice.
Be nice? I'm always- I'm always nice-
Simon?
Hi, Jace.
Look, I've been trying to make a nice montage video thing of the wedding for Clary, but the video we got from the photographer's come out all blue and squiggly.
Oh.
And I saw you filming a lot in the ceremony and everything, so I was wondering if I could take a look at your footage? You know, just one decent shot of her walking down the aisle not completely turquoise would do.
Oh. Well. Honestly I don't know if I still have it, I'll have a look at home but I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to find it.
Oh, okay... but-
I have to go.
[call ended]
---
My doorbell rings, and it's Jace. The bloody nerve, showing up at my house, when I could be busy or-
"Simon! I was just passing and I thought you might have that video we talked about?" Shit. Shit, shit, shit. "I brought pie? Banoffee pie, I'm afraid, I have a horrible taste in pies. Or can I tempt you with some munchies?" He wiggles them in front of my face, but I don't react. Jace just grins and walks right into my living room. "Simon, I know you don't like me much but maybe we should try to be friends? I mean, I'm married to your best friend for god's sake! And I'm nice, I really am, I promise." I decide to ignore this.
"Look, I had a really good look for it after we spoke, and I really have no idea where it might be, I'm sorry-"
He walks over to my video stand, and pulls out the one labelled "Jace and Clary's wedding." Shit, again. "It's probably taped over, you know, I've got recordings of West Wing, and-"
But it's too late, he's slid it into the tap machine, and just like that, my lovely peaceful misery is shattered.
It starts with a shot of Jace, before the ceremony, adjusting his tie. Then Jace, getting into position, his face resolute. Jace turning round to see Clary in her wedding dress for the first time, cracking into a smile. Jace fumbling with the ring. Jace running a hand through his hair and punching the air. I'm married! he shouts. Jace taking a glass of champagne at the ceremony. Jace laughing during Alec's best man speech. Jace moonwalking while the rest of the room is engulfed in hilarity. Jace picking up a page boy, swinging him around. Jace smiling. Jace's face over Clary's shoulder as they dance. Jace waving goodbye as they drive away. Just Jace.
It's a moment before he cracks open the silence. "They're all of me." It's a simple statement, but my heart breaks a little more when I hear it. He tears his eyes away from the screen, those gorgeous, golden eyes I could sink and drown and die in. Jace looks at me. "But you never even talk to me." He's confused, he doesn't understand, he doesn't get how I could love him. But I do. My heart aches for him. My heart has ached every night since the day we met. Since the day I was introduced to my best friend's boyfriend. That's the worst part.
I tell him it needs some editing, tell him I have to rush off for a lunch, tell him to let himself out. And then I just walk through the streets like I've lost my mind, rapidly turning down streets of London I don't even know, uncaring and unconcerned with where I am or where I should be going. I don't even cry. I just walk. I walk until I'm too tired to walk anymore, and then I catch a taxi home and the cab driver tells me I look like shit, and then I just sit on the sofa where he used to be until I fall asleep.
---
Ding-dong. I rise to get it. Clary tucks her feet back under the blanket and takes a sip of wine. I open the door to Simon, who I have been avoiding for weeks and who has surely been avoiding me. But now, it seems, he's here to speak to me. He holds his finger to his lips, and presses play on a stereo that starts blasting out Silent Night. It's ridiculous. He's holding these massive placards, and the top one says
SAY ITS CAROL SINGERS
I call to Clary that it's just carol singers, and she tells me to tell them to get lost. I don't. He reaches for the next card.
HOPEFULLY NEXT YEAR ILL BE DATING ONE OF THESE LOT-
Next card- Dave Franco, and Shawn Mendes and Dylan O'Brian. I laugh despite myself.
BUT FOR NOW, LET ME SAY THIS-
TO ME, YOU ARE PERFECT
I feel a tug at my heart. To be loved, I think, is a wonderful thing. Beautiful even when devastating. Simon picks up the stereo, still playing that stupid carol, and walks off down the street. Glancing back into the house, I let instinct take over, and run after him. I kiss him, just for a second. He looks surprised, and happy, and not quite as sad as he used to look. I think, perhaps, that unrequited love actually isn't all that sad, when you think about it. It just is what it is. It's love.
Simon wanders down the street of twinkling lights and sprinkled snow, and I think I hear him say "enough."
