quatre - play it on a loop

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Valerie

In my hand a had a little white, jagged piece of paper that read 924, and then I glanced upward to make sure I was at the right place.
The anxiety that I'd pass the damn place or show up somewhere else was eating me alive; I was about to detonate out of frustration. But it seems I didn't have any reason to get worked up after all.
I gave the guy standing by the door the only five bucks I had, and then walked through the doors. The whole venue was filled with sweaty, almost macho looking guys. That also scared me a little.
My eyes searched around the room to find Billie, wherever the little asshole was. I wandered around for a while, getting ran into several times, before I heard my name being called.
"Hey, Valerie!"
I whipped my whole body around in an instant, my body flooding with relief as Billie's gaze met mine with a benevolent, crooked toothed smile. I smiled back and began to walk towards him, two other guys hanging at his shoulder.
"So, I'm assuming this is the rest of your band?" I shouted over the music, eyeing the other two.
"Yep. That's Mike," he said, motioning to his left. "And Tre." This time, to the right.
"So, you're the chick we keep hearing about?" Tre asked. "It's no wonder we keep hearing about such hot shit, huh Mike?"
The other guy nodded nonchalantly, as Billie shot a hard glare at both of them. "Fucking watch it."
"Jeez, man. Don't get butthurt. Ain't nobody gonna steal your girl, Beej," Tre said, hands up in surrender.
"Okay, Tre. Stop being a fucking idiot for once and come help me set up our shit, alright? We're on in a few," Mike said, dragging Tre away to the back.
Billie rubbed his head. "Uh, sorry about them."
"No biggie," I laughed. "You should probably help them set up though."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Don't go anywhere," he sighed.
"Billie, for chrissake, where am I gonna go?"
He laughed. "God, you really are one sarcastic bitch."
"Val is my name, sarcasm is my game!" I sang. "Now go help set up."
I lightly shoved him away, a smirk playing across his lips, and went backstage.
It was no time before they came on.
"Hi, we're Green Day, and this is a song that'll be on an album in.. uh... what'sit again? Uh.. April, I think.. Anyways!"
I chortled as a huge crowd of people swarmed towards the stage, already cheering. Billie began to strum on his guitar, the strings ringing out through the room.
"Sitting in my room last night, staring at the mirror, I couldn't find a reason why I could be near her."
The whole crowd was going insane. I was getting shoved around, and then I was shoving people around, and dancing and being fucking psycho. It was awesome, to say the least.
"'Cause you are the one that started to make me feel this way, and every night I'm thinkin' about the words you say"
I'm pretty sure Billie saw me having a good time, and it made me smile. He was smiling through the music. I felt good. For once, I didn't even have any reason to be sarcastic or resentful.
For the rest of the time I just danced and whipped my head around without a care. People slammed into me and I slammed back, and nobody got mad.
It was a while before Green Day exited the stage, trading in for a band called Operation Ivy. I would've stayed and danced, but I also thought I owed it to Billie to actually not be a bitch and tell him how good they were.
Finally, I'd pushed my way through the crowd of people and found Billie once again.
"How'd you like it?" He questioned.
"A lot. You guys are killer," I stated truthfully.
He blinked. "Wow. For once, I didn't even hear the slightest bit of sarcasm in your voice."
I shoved him playfully. "I can ruin a good time real quick, any damn time you want me to."
He laughed. "Guess I better shut my mouth then."
"Damn right," I chuckled back. "Anyways, do you guys always play here?"
"All the time," he said. "This is our home."
In that moment, I really saw the passion in his fiery green eyes. I knew he was really serious about his band.
Some bands get together in high school, for nothing more than a little project, and they're bound to break up; that's a fact. But I could already tell it was an entirely different case for Green Day.
He kinda dazed off after that, as if he were daydreaming. I almost didn't even want to bother him, so I just tried to watch the band onstage, but my plan backfired.
Billie was completely zoned out. Way zoned out, I mean.
He seemed entirely disembodied; as if his mind and soul were elsewhere. For a while, I just stared at him with a solicitous look on my face.
He finally faced me again, asking me "Shit.. Sorry, did you say something?"
I sniggered. "No. What was that?"
"Dunno. Spaced out, I guess."
He turned away from me and looked out at the stage, rubbing the back of his head.
"Uh, you okay?"
I placed a hand on his shoulder, now becoming somewhat concerned.
"Mhm.. It's kinda just a habit of mine," he said, looking at me once again. "I'm always in some.. stupid daze. Especially when I'm here. I dunno."
I laughed. "C'mon, let's go dance, 'r somethin," I said, shoving him playfully.

∝ ∝ ∝

"No, he smelled like raw ass!"
I dissolved into fits of laughter, leaning into his shoulder for balance as we walked out of the club, the cold air hitting our skin harshly.
"It's true! He smelled like fucking horse stables. Jesus Christ. I coulda puked," Billie said.
"Fuck," I said, out of breath. "That was so funny."
"Hey, y'know what I never noticed?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Hmm?" I hummed.
"That you had a septum piercing," he said. "I dunno why I never noticed. I also never noticed that you're not always a huge ass to everyone all the time."
"Hey!" I giggled. "You're fuckin' rude, man."
"More like honest," he said, draping his arm over my shoulders. "But in all honesty, I'm really happy you came, y'know."
My gaze shifted from the concrete to his face, which at the moment was smiling lazily, but contently. He was genuine. He was serious. He wanted me around.
"I am too."
The rest of the walk seemed almost never ending, which I was fine with. It was beautiful out; a blanket of stars just blaring in the nearly black sky and the cars whirring by.
Yet even with that, it was over in a second, and we'd finally reached my house. Needless to say, I was disappointed.
"This is my house," I sighed, looking at the dump.
"Alright," he said. "We should do this again sometime."
"Definitely," I grinned.
"Can I call you or something? I don't wanna be bored the rest of the night and-"
"Yes," I said. "Talk to ya in a few then."
He grinned again, walking in the opposite direction of me. Once I reached my steps, we'd glanced back again and waved eachother off.
When I entered my doorway, I ignored all my fathers questions and immediately ran into my room. All I could do was twirl the cord of my phone around on my finger, waiting for the damn thing to ring.
And if I could, I'd play that night on a loop my whole life. I'd live in it again, and again, and again, and I wouldn't do anything differently, and it'd all be alright.

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