the pariah ↠ bellamy blake

ai don gon wamplei

[I Am Become Death]

When she was little, Valika believed that death was not ultimately the end and that the sorrows she endured on earth would be worth something. Valika imagined a world in which there was no pain and no suffering. There was a horribly poetic aspect to the prospect of a better world, a world that was only reachable in death. 

 Valika didn't believe in her world anymore. Maybe the day she stopped believing in a better world was the day she stopped believing in herself.  

Valika stared at the grey stone ceiling. Lincoln had left at sunrise and hadn't noticed that Valika was awake. He'd been anxious and nervous, a state that he didn't want Valika to see him in, because he thought she needed someone to hold onto in this time. 

There was an unsettling feeling in Valika's gut about sending Lincoln for a crime she had committed. It was wrong and an act of cowardice. Valika swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stretched. She could at least go hunting while Lincoln was gone. 

The crossbow fit strangely familiar in her grip, having actually been used for hunting by Valika instead of just being carried around as an accessory.

The sun was setting and a let golden rays shine onto the ground. A cold fall wind engulfed Valika, sending a cold shiver down her spine. She'd have to hunt more to get fur for a good coat. Her light clothing wouldn't stand another winter, especially now that she needed it for hunting.

Valika didn't let her mind take over, questioning whether she'd even be alive by winter or whether Lincoln would be with her this winter. 

Instead, she focused on the forest ground, trying to detect any movement. Valika didn't get far as she heard footsteps coming closer behind her. She spun around and cowering behind a tree was a sky person. John Murphy. 

When Valika stepped closer he flinched away. He was bloody, and not just on his face, his clothes were soaked and his hands looked as if they'd been dipped into blood. Valika recognized the pattern. 

Valika exhaled, the realization that John was carrying the virus ringing through her mind.

Murphy snorted. "Take a picture it'll last longer," he spoke, his voice rough and laced with anger. 

She frowned, her grip on the crossbow tightning. She could shoot him right there. John Murphy had said things to her that Valika wanted him to pay for, but Valika didn't want to kill anyone. Letting him run would mean that he'd carry the virus straight into the sky people's camp and weakening them. Lincoln wouldn't want that to happen, Valika knew that, but the eyes of scouts were everywhere, and she couldn't risk being seen as a traitor when she'd just been accepted.

"You run, John Murphy. My people will stay right at your heel," Valika snarled and walked off.

x

Valika was skinning a squirrel when Lincoln entered the cave.  Valika's head shot up, and she looked at him. He looked tired and frustrated.

"What happened?" 

"Valika, I have to leave," Lincoln answered. He avoided her eyes and sat on the bed. 

Valika's throat went dry, and she let the knife fall onto the wooden table. Her mouth moved, but the words weren't coming out. 

"Why?" Her voice cracked. 

"They think I'm a traitor for being with Octavia." Lincoln finally looked up at her with a forced smile. 

"But you-"

"I'm going to Luna, her clan will accept Octavia and I," he continued.

It was Octavia and I now. There was no yu en ai anymore. A feeling long lost and burried under the dead bodies of those who had felt Valika's wrath.