needed me | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴹᵞᴳ

IV

"Will you be there?" was Namjoon's question through the phone. Hoseok listened to the other's deep voice, let the question echo through his mind. He thought about the question for a while, completely forgetting to answer. Would he be there at the wedding? Well, yes he would. He already promised them the last time he had talked to Namjoon on the phone. Back then he thought he would only come to the wedding to congratulate them, after the ceremony of course, and somewhere nobody would notice he was there. However, for a while now he was constantly arguing with himself. He wanted to be there the whole time, also at the ceremony. He wanted to spend time with the happy couple, but also with the others. But, somewhere deep within him a voice warned him, it warned him of all the pain that may lie ahead. He knew well enough by himself that he wouldn't be able to handle any more pain. But would there be pain? Maybe. Maybe not. He didn't know.

"Hoseok?" Namjoon asked, reassuring himself that Hoseok was still there on the other side of the line.
"Yes?" Hoseok answered, completely losing track of his thoughts. He even blinked shortly, looking over to the other side of the street. He was once again on his way home from another job, but he had stopped the moment he had felt his phone vibrating in his pants' pocket. Of course he wouldn't have picked up the call if it weren't for Namjoon.
"Will you be there, Hobi?" Namjoon asked again, still waiting patiently for Hoseok's answer. He knew he had to give the younger some time. Since a while now Hoseok needed some more time. Namjoon had noticed the way Hoseok had grown even quieter though they only met each other maybe two more times since the day they had talked on the phone. But the change was evident. Namjoon simply didn't know why Hoseok had changed. He could only hope because the younger was thinking of returning to them, returning home. Well, he couldn't know and he wouldn't until it happened. Hoseok didn't say a word and he knew he shouldn't keep his hopes that high, but still he did.

"I-I'll be there." Hoseok answered after one whole minute passed in silence.
"After the ceremony?" Namjoon asked. Hoseok leaned his back against the wall behind him, he looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath. He didn't know what to do. Go there and feel pain eventually or go there later and only feel guilty for letting them wait? Hoseok thought it would be better to feel guilty, it would be easier.
"Yes, afterwards." Hoseok then answered, still looking up the sky searching for stars between the clouds. He heard Namjoon sighing at the other side of the line and he immediately felt guilt welling up. Maybe he should consider going their earlier. No. He wouldn't risk it.
"Okay, I know there's no point in trying to change your mind." Namjoon muttered, still hoping Hoseok would change. But Hoseok didn't. "I guess, I'll see you after the ceremony then?" Namjoon continued, still hoping for Hoseok's change of mind.
"Yeah. I'll let you guys know about my arrival." Hoseok hurried to answer before he hung up the phone. Honestly, it wasn't good for his little heart to keep on talking with his best friend for that long. The longing to go back home just grew every time he talked to him or met him. Even when he only thought about him or the others.

ㅡ

It was already the day of Namjoon and Seokjin's wedding. The time until then had passed by rather quickly. Hoseok had his weeks packed with missions and meetings. For a few days he even had to leave the country, but that hadn't been too bad. Hoseok had spent much time with remembering the past though and it really took its toll on him. More often he found himself in a really bad, down mood because of all that he missed and couldn't have back. Well, he could, but he was too stubborn to admit it to himself. Every time his bubble of nice memories would pop he confronted himself with all the pain. And then again he asked himself: 'isn't it time to finally forgive?' But, he had already forgiven Yoongi and Jimin.

Hoseok sat in his car, dressed in a nice suit and he was currently heading for the wedding's location. It was already dark outside, but the streetlights made it easy for him to find his way. He knew he was late even though he had told them he would be there late. Well, he had let them know he would be there after the ceremony. But now it was long after the ceremony. He had been lost in his thoughts once again and due to that forgot about watching the time. He sped up his car and hurried to the location. He wanted to make sure to arrive there before the couple would have to leave for their honeymoon. Honestly, it would be weird if Hoseok would pop up at the airport.