Pine Tree, You Idiot!

Labor?!

I don't own Gravity Falls or the pictures.

"Pine tree...pine tree, wake up!"

Bill, in his true form (human form) shook him.

Dipper groaned.

"Bill be quiet it's , like, 2 am.,"he said.

Dipper fell back to sleep.

Bill growled.

"DIPPER PINES, IF YOU DO NOT WAKE UP RIGHT NOW, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THIS CHILD'S , WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS ABOUT TO BE BORN'S, LIFE!!"

"What!!?"

"You heard me."

Dipper jumped off the bed and grabbed the keys he kept in the drawer.

"We have to get to the car."

"Nope.,"he tsked.

"Why not?," the 20 year old asked.

"It's the middle of February, idiot!
We're snowed in because your dumbass didn't listen to me and get a hotel close to the hospital."

"Then, teleport us there!"

"I can't!"

"And why not?!"

"I didn't want you to know about this, but from the start of labor and to the moment the kid's out,"he took a deep breath."I'll lose control of my magic."

Dipper dropped to his knees.

"We're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed.,"he repeated.

"Not completely. I can do little things like float things over or maybe turn lights on and off or flip pages of a book without touching it or-"

"Stop! Just...stop."

Dipper rubbed his temple.

"Hey. Are you okay?,"Bill asked, crouching down as far as he could to touch his shoulder.

"Noo.,"he moaned.

"Shouldn't I be the one doing that?

Anyway, Pine tree I can still control most of my magic, it's just that, when the process progresses farther, I'll lose focus of more of my magic and things will float, lights will flicker, I or other things might try to murder you-"

"What?!!"

Bill looked away.

"You know how labored women would feel murderous intent towards their husbands, well, I would be like that, but with more magic aiding me by the minute."

Dipper slowly got up from the floor.

"Fuck..."

"Indeed."

The couple was silent for a moment before Bill fell onto his knees in pain.

"Whoa there, I've got you."

Bill gripped onto Dipper's clothes.

"Just *pant* another contraction."

"Come on. You're going to bed right now."

Dipper placed Bill onto the bundle of comfortors.

"I really hate you right now."

"And I hate this situation, but I'm dealing with it."

"You're not the one giving birth."

"You're not the one delivering the baby."

"You're not the one who's going to kick someone's ass for back talking."

"Touche."