Pine Tree, You Idiot!

The Most Beautiful Thing Ever

"I love you.,"cooed Dipper, trying to calm Bill, who was currently thrashing about the bed.

"Now!"

"What?"

"I n-need to! ARRUGHH! I have to push!"

"Oh my gosh. Really?"

"YES 'REALLY'!"

The brunette moved to the end of their bed, which already had Bill's legs up with a sheet over them.

"I think you should push?"

"No shit, sherlock!"

Bill took deep breaths and bore down.

"Um..Bill? How long is this going to be?"

"Shut up! Just tell me when you see something!"

Not even 20 minutes later, Dipper yelled.

"Bill, I see - I see something? The - uh - it's coming!"

"The head, idiot?,"he hissed.

"Yeah! Bill, is it supposed to be this big?"

"Yes!"

"It seems rather painful."

"I know! Next time you do THIS!,"Bill screamed, pushing hard enough for the baby's head to come free.

"One more! I think? How are we supposed to know the amount of pushes - OH CRAP!"

Dipper, as he was talking too much, almost hadn't caught his small baby when Bill gave one more unexpected push.

"It's a - it's a girl! We have a daughter! We have baby girl Bill!,"he laughed in joy, crying a little.

The tiny being squirmed and wailed her discomfort to the new parents.

Dipper wasted no time in wrapping her in a warm towel, giving her to an exhausted Bill as he took away the after birth.

Soon, the two of them sat on their bed, watching their new addition's every breath in silent awe.

"She's finally here. I can't believe it. It seems like yesterday you were running towards me, holding that little white stick with the biggest smile I've ever seen on you."

Bill blushed.

"Shut up."

"This has been the biggest roller coaster I have ever been on. Even beats puberty."

"You haven't seen anything yet. Wait until she starts growing up. The tantrums, the fights, puberty, the talk. She'll start dating guys too."

Dipper looked down to the bundle in Bill's protective hold.

"Not on my watch.,"he said, lightly kissing her small nose.

"What should we name her?"

"Hmm. What about Astoria?"

"Perfect. Astoria Galaxia Celeste Pines."

"Why 2 middle names?"

"Just because."

Astoria soon began to cry again.

"Shh. What's wrong, honey?,"cooed Dipper.

"She's hungry."

Bill slid the shirt he had on off of his shoulder, exposing his hardened pink nipple.

He brought the newborn to his nipple, where she began to have her first meal.

Dipper just broke down.

"I love you both so much.,"he sobbed, kissing Bill's face over and over again.

"Whoa there, what brought this on?"

"You and Astoria. The two of you together is the most beautiful thing in the world.,"he sniffed.

With a shocked face, Bill smashed their lips together and pulled away.

"You're an idiot you know that.,"he wiped a few tears from his eyes.

"I'm yours, babe."

"No.,"he grinned. "You're ours. Our big, strong, idiotic Pine tree."