Pine Tree, You Idiot!

Untold Scene!

"Ow!"

Dipper currently was trying to stop getting hit by pillows.

"Bill, stop hitting me!"

His husband scowled.

"It's not me, asshole! I don't have control over it!"

"Well please-FUCK!,"he screamed, narrowly dodging a knife that tried to plunge itself into his heart.

"I told you! If it was me in control, that knife wouldn't have missed."

"BILL!"

"Well, sorr-ahh!"

Bill curled up in another contraction.

That would be the point where Dipper would gather his balls and make the treacherous journey to Bill for him to grab his hand (only to run away again when it was over), but one thing stopped him.

Whenever Bill had a contraction, shit hit the fan.

Bill's magic shoots all around their house picking up things, holding things, turning things on.

And they all come over to kill one thing in the house, or, one person.
And that is where Dipper comes in.

He can't gather his balls when they're about to get chopped off!

A series of pillows, knifes, plates, glasses, pots, pans, lamps, etc surrounded him.

'Fucking ALL the silverware.,' he thought.

Dipper dived into his own fort of pillows and blankets as they struck.

"Mayday! Mayday! Dipper requesting help to sector - CRAP!"

ANOTHER knife had stabbed itself into a pillow that was dangerously close to him.

Dipper looked outside the fort to find a knife pointed itself in his direction.

Wait - this one looked bigger.

'A fucking SWORD?! When the fuck did we get one of those?! How did even get in he - you know what? I don't care.'

"YES, PLEASE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!!"

He had forgotten that Bill was able to read his mind...

He dodged it and Bill's contraction finally stopped.

"Oh thank goodness.,"Dipper sighed.

"I know..."

Bill wasn't too far from pushing now.

"I hate you so much."

"What did I do?"

"Knock me up."

"Oh. You wanted it!"

"I'm not sure I'll want IT after this."

"Fine."

"Ow! Fuck, IT will come off."

"Another one?"

"Yes! What do you mean 'another one'!"

"They're so close!"

"Their contractions! Of course they're close!"

The same objects that were after Dipper came to life again.

'SHIT.'

"AAAHHHHH!"