'BABYGIRL' {Halsey}

eight

i watch as she smokes her cigarette in silence, the hazy clouds swirling around her petite body. the concrete beneath me is warm and i lay my palms on top of it, playing with the tiny pebbles scattered across its surface.

i want to ask her about that man. i want to know who he is, what she thinks of him. does she love him?

'can i ask your opinion on something?' she wonders, turning toward me before walking over. she sits down beside me and i feel my entire body become stiff and anxious. 'yeah.'

she pauses for a moment, as if considering her choice of words carefully.

'would you stay with someone who made you feel like you will never amount to anything?' she asks, crushing her cigarette with her foot to put it out. i stare at her, confused as to why she would even ask me that. 

'no, i wouldn't,' i mumble, playing with the rocks inside my palms, moving them around anxiously. she just sighs and looks sad, as if she wishes things were different. 'you're right. it's just hard to realize that he isn't good for me. my boyfriend,' she explains, looking up at the sky as if she's trying to find the courage to fix everything.

'if he's trying to keep you from being who you are or doing what you want, that isn't love. that's just control,' i tell her, hoping i'm not out of line.

she looks at me with tears in her eyes. 'yeah. yeah.'

she takes out another cigarette before lighting it and going back to the space inside of her mind. i just act as if i'm not there, but a mere shadow clouding her existence.

it's like that for a while, until i head back inside and think of all the things i could have said differently.