His Not So Real Love

Feelings

Ian's Pov: 

She left with that freaking bartender and I was left alone. Go home, she said but didn't she know that I couldn't. I just can't bare the idea of her with two other guys; one drunk and one well seems like a player. I hated the fact that I might have lost her forever. She seemed so determent to move on and to never allow me in through her walls again.

I tired to force myself back to my old seat in the bar but all that kept playing in my memory is how that bartender's eyes traveled along Maya's body studying it. How a flirting smirk appeared on his face when she accepted his help. My chair suddenly felt so tight and small. The air in the bar became thick and sickening. Even my stomach hurt. I didn't know what was happening but I felt like everything around me felt wrong.  

The beerless glass in front of me looked as lonely and empty as my soul. Void was a common point between them. I ordered more drinks hoping to drown myself in anything but alcohol. One drink became two and then three. Yet nothing seemed to work. I am still hurting and my only comfort is Maya. 

Maybe if I go to her now, beg for her and  show her that I love her and only her, she may forgive me? 

Even if my chances were close to nothing I decided to try. I tried to stand but dizziness hit me as soon as I supported all my weight and stood tall. Maybe I drank too much? Maybe I shouldn't drive? but what if tomorrow is too late? What if she drives back with Andrew? What if she and Jack...

No Maya would never do that! I screamed at my own racing mind and tried to slowly walk between the grinding bodies and the wild groups that kept on jumping with the music, swaying with its rhymes and singing its lyrics. It took all my energy to walk back to my car. Images of my surroundings were blurred. Colors were not that clear. Even the sounds were muffled now.

As I got into my car I rested my head a it on the steering wheel but those stupid images of Maya and Andrew making out kept on haunting me. What if she tires to forget me and use Andrew as a way? Will I be the reason behind corrupting her innocent soul? 

Even though my body hurt and my limbs seemed to be heavier than normal, I started my car. Different voices played in my head, one saying that I should drive to Maya's fast, another saying I am too drunk to drive, and another cursing Andrew...The lights of others cars started to irritate my already blurred vision. My eyes started hurting me more and my head throbbed painfully. Yet I ignored it all. I ignored all pain and tried to reach Maya. 

I was driving yet suddenly my blurred vision darkened. The cars around me didn't flash their lights in my face. I no more heard their annoying beeps. I heard nothing at all and saw nothing. I only felt some sharp pain. I wanted to ignore it too. I still wanted to find Maya but my body gave up on me and total darkness and silence enveloped me.

Maya's Pov :

After guiding Jack to the guest room, I returned to my now melted ice cream box. I threw the thing away. Then, I looked around me and my solitude finally hit me hard. I will always be alone. The only man that I wanted is in love with my best friend...Will I ever be good enough for anyone? Maybe Andrew will love me? But will I love him back? Will I ever feel the same way about him as I feel for Ian? 

Ian, that selfish man, why did I fell for him? Why did my heart choose him out of all the guys in this planet? Why did my eyes twinkle in happiness whenever he is around? Why did my heart dance rapidly and wildly when he told me that he loves me? Why did I want to tell him that I love him too right away? 

"I love you too." I mumbled and a fierce wild cry left my mouth. I felt my legs giving up on me and wobbly I sat on the floor hugging my knees to my chest and resting my forehead on them. 

Will I die alone? Will Ian rush to Rose's side if Jack divorces her? Should I ignore Asher's texts or respond to him? why am I living in such a mess...

I don't know for how much time, I sat on the cold floor of my kitchen but I only woke up when I felt someone poking my arm. I grumbled and tried as hard as I can to lift my head...It seemed to weight tones...It hurts a lot...I guess because I spent the night crying my heart out. As soon as my eyes opened I met the face of a very concerned and troubled Jack.

"MayMay..." he mumbled and I saw tears forming in his own eyes

"Jack..." I mumbled back then a moment of silence took over us. That silence was anything but meaningless it seemed pregnant with meanings and messages and it made my eyes water again.

"He has been calling you endlessly for an hour." Jack announced surprising me 

"He?" I asked not knowing who he is talking about

"Ian." Jack spat the name with a vivid anger and I couldn't blame him.

"oh..." was my only answer 

"You fell for him. Didn't you?" Jack asked and I knew that he wasn't waiting for an answer so I just rested my head on his shoulder and allowed my tears to fall...We stayed like that for ten or fifteen minutes. Not a sound was made other than my sobs. Jack's comforting hand hugged me close and tried to sooth me but we both knew that nothing will work. We were both broken behind repair. My head lifted from his shoulder when I heard my house phone beeping. Yet I decided it to ignore it. I am in no will to talk. 

"Maybe you should answer that..." Jack said but I just shook my head and then rest it back on his shoulder.

"They will just leave a message." I announced and that's when I heard the beep.

"Hello, This is Mercy Hospital, I am sorry to inform you that Mr. Mathews had an accident. We tried to reach the last connected Numbers on his phone and this seems to be one of the first two." The message ended and I froze. I was no more able to cry I was just totally numb...

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