Song of the chapter: Running to the edge of the world- Marilyn Manson.
One week later:
It'd been about a week. Nothing has changed. Morgue was still being weird and clingy, and Travis and I had been getting along well. Morgue and I hadn't hung out at all outside of work and only said a few words to each other in between shifts. We'd only sit in silence and hold hands and maybe say an occasional "I love you". But that was it. We'd been together for almost a year now and things were starting to lose their spark. We weren't as lovey dovvey anymore, we rarely hung out outside of work, we never had sex like we had talked about in the past, and nicks death just kind of added to the sadness and boring-ness of the whole thing. Morgue was hanging out with other people quite a bit and he didn't seem to be effected by the sudden change at all. He'd stopped caring about Travis, and I dont know if it was a trust thing, or if he was just mad and didn't care anymore. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to wait for him to come around again but I felt like I had to because I loved him. And I didn't wanna hurt him.
I didn't know what to do and it was driving me crazy.
Two days later:
Things had not improved. I'd tried talking to Morgue but nothing seemed to be getting through to him. I asked Travis for advice on what to Do but he was really no help.
That night I was at home watching movies by myself. Morgue was out with Asia and creature just exploring Venice beach all day. He invited me to come along but I refused cause I didn't wanna be around people. He was one wording me through text a lot so I just decided to leave him alone. I stayed and did my own thing at home.
About an hour later at around 10:00 Morgue started texting me again and being really weird. He kept saying all the things I didn't want him to say. Like "haha I hang out with Asia too much. She's my best friend tho so I have to. " and "I been to her house so many times". I didn't know what to tell him. Eventually he kept typing the same word over and over again, "Triggered". I had no idea what he meant. He wouldn't tell me what triggered him or what he was triggered to do. He just kept saying it. He wasn't making sense so I texted Asia. "What is morgue on? He's acting weird" I asked. I got a reply right away. "He's not on anything. We're just having fun. That's not my problem. " Jesus. Bitch. He kept being weird and saying that nothing was wrong but I could tell something was wrong. I texted creature. Creature told me that morgue was sober but he was acting weird cause he felt weird about me. He said he wasn't sure if he could see himself having a future with me. That was it. There was no point. I asked Morgue politely to pick up his phone. He agreed and I called him.
When he picked up he was laughing like a maniac about something Asia said. I ignored it and go straight to the point. "Morgue, I'm sorry. This isn't gonna work out. I'm done"
He went silent. "Okay" he said.
He was silent for a minute and then he spoke "sorry I'm in thought. I get it. I think it's best too. "
I nodded and could feel the tears streaming down my face.
"Yeah...yeah. " I whispered. I was really trying not to make my crying obvious.
"I mean..." he started
"I dont know if I told you, but when it came to us not spending much time together, my feelings started to fade..and...yeah they're pretty much gone. "
I choked out a sob. What did that even mean?!
"I get it. " I said
He sighed. "Yeah. I'm at my breaking point. "
"So this is it?" I asked.
"Yeah..." he sighed.
"We can still be friends though right?" I asked
"No. that wouldn't be a good idea. "
He said.
"Why not?!" I shouted.
"Because.." he said softly
"I dont know if you're gonna be able to get over me.."
"Morgue. I am the one breaking up with you.."
he sighed.
"True. But you're probably gonna still think of me..like as your boyfriend and that'll just make it harder"
I didn't wanna yell at him so I just sighed
"Did you ever love me?" I asked
"Was it ever real?"
"It was. " he said
"But when it came to not seeing you and everything, things changed. "
"But you promised me..you promised that I'd never lose you completely" I said softly
"Things change Kate"
He said.
He and I were both silent for a few minutes.
"Well" he sighed
"I'm gonna go now cause I have to drive home and stuff so...goodnight"
"I love you. " I whispered softly into the phone
He said nothing, and hung up.
This chapter of freak show is not the end I promise. I needed a new turning point in the story since it wasn't going anywhere. The picture in the media box is of me and my boyfriend from whisper. The last part of the chapter is actually based on our breakup which was recent. This is my way of coping with the loss of him and I hope you guys can understand. I love you guys
Keep smiling 😊
