Chapter 4: The Bloody Guardsman

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FLASHBACK 

Sherlock is standing in the living room of 221B looking at his information wall behind the sofa. The wall is covered with things that need to be done with the wedding, which are headed Transport, Catering, Rehearsal, Wine and many others. On the table beside Mary, who is sitting on one of the fining chairs, is a cardboard 3D model of the reception venue.

John is sitting in his armchair, looking at his phone, while you are sitting in Sherlock's armchair, looking through the guest list and the RSVP list. "Need to work on your half of the church, Mary. Looking a bit thin." Sherlock said to Mary.

"Ah, orphan's lot. Friends--that's all I have. Lots of friends." Mary said, smiling.

"Schedule the organ music to begin at precisely 11:48." Sherlock said.

"But the rehearsal's not for another two weeks." Mary said.

"Just calm down, love." You said, not looking up from the list.

"Calm? I am calm. I'm extremely calm." Sherlock said to you.

"Let's get back to the reception. (Y/N), John's cousin. Top table?" Mary asked you, holding up an RSVP card. You get up from Sherlock's chair and walk over to the table and look at it.

"Hmm. Hates you. Can't even bear to think about you." You replied.

"Seriously?" Mary asked, looking at you.

"Second class post, cheap card...bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp: three attempts at licking. She's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva." You said.

"Ah. Let's stick her by the bogs." Mary said, over her shoulder to John.

"Oh yes." You and Sherlock said, as he walks over to the table as well.

"Who else hates me?" Mary asked and, instantly, Sherlock hands her a sheet of paper, which has a long list of names.

"Oh great--thanks!" Mary said.

"Priceless painting nicked. Looks interesting." John said, looking at his phone.

"Table four..." Mary said.

"Done." You and Sherlock said.

John chuckles and said. "My husband is three people."  

"Table five." Mary continues and you see a name that you don't know. "Major James Sholto. Who's he?" You asked. "Oh, John's old commanding officer. I don't think he's coming." Mary said. "He'll be there." John said.

"Well, he needs to RSVP, then." Mary said to him.

"He'll be there." John said, firmly. Mary hums as John continues to look at his phone.

"My husband is three people. It's interesting. Says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin." John said.

"Identical triplets--one in half a million births. Solved it without leaving the flat. Now, serviettes." Sherlock said, rapidly.

He squats down besides the coffee table, reaches under it and pulls out a tray with two serviettes folded into different shapes.

"Swan, or Sydney Opera House?" Sherlock asked, gesturing towards them.

"Where'd you learn to do that?!" Mary asked, surprised.

"Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation..." Sherlock started to say but Mary interjects. "Fibbing, Sherlock."  

"I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of...."

 "I'm not John. I can tel, when you're fibbing." Mary said.

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