I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

19 ~ Is It Too Late

|SOMETIMES VOTING IS THE ONLY WAY|

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"Don't leave in such a hurry Derek" his voice was playful and teasing while he ran his fingers through my hair roughly. "Come on...I thought you said you wanted to apologize?" The demanding whisper in my ear send shocks through my body. His strong arms wrapped around me from behind and slowly slipped into my shirt and to my bare chest.

My heart was pounding in my ears. His warm hands played on my skin, I wanted to move away but I couldn't. My body wouldn't allow me to move away.

His fingers danced as he ran the palms of his hands over the entire length of my chest as if he was trying to seduce me.

Wanting to break away I leaped forward only to find that it to be useless. "Stop fighting it Derek. You know you want to." The voice inside of my head whispered tauntingly.

"Let go, Haden." My words were cold as ice and to my surprise and slight disappointment he let go. I felt let a hint of sadness erupt inside as his arms unwrapped from around me and removed from me completely.

I turned to face him. The question that remained in my empty head was 'why did you give up so easily'. Something was utterly wrong with me. It should not have filled me with disappointment when he listened to me, it should have been happiness or some sort of victorious feeling.

At least that is what I thought.

Maybe I really was masochistic.

Towering over me he stood like a dominating giant. I could not help but wonder why he let go, wouldn't he force me now as he had done before. Wasn't that what he was used to doing? especially to me. The expression on my face must have probably said it all. I saw his lips curled in to a smirk as his shaded eyes stared deeply at me.

"Aren't you going to leave?" his lips moved with the smirk still intact.

He was not making much sense to me. A moment a go he had said that he wanted me to stay, now he wanted me to leave. I wished he would make him mind up, but most of all I wish I'd make mine up.

I stared at him. The emotions going through me was a mixture that I possibly could not describe. I raised my hand up to his face and traced it with my fingers. As the darkened shadow disappeared from his face I saw that he was neither surprised nor shocked at my action. He looked at me with deep eyes that seemed to know what I was doing. He was calculating my actions and knew them before I was even aware.

My fingers ran across his jaw line, I stared pensively at my own fingers and his skin as I ran my fingers over his chin. It was mesmerising. A smile stretched across his face. It was warm and was a smile that you would give to a lover the moment you realize that they returned your true feelings.

His hand grasped mine tightly and pulled my hand away from his face, the force tugged me in towards him.

"Don't you want to go?" he whispered again into my ear.

No, I didn't want to go.

My face was cradled in the hollow of his neck and he led on to my arm tightly pulling me in towards him. I felt my breath becoming heavier and my heart race faster with each minute and second that passed.

"I didn't think so" he whispered again teasingly into my ear. His lips softly touched the tip of my ear. When his lips touched the surface my skin I could feel my heart pound against the solid wall of my chest. His voice sent a shiver all through my body, a shiver that slightly turned me on. The strong grip he had over my wrist loosened yet I stayed. My mind felt clouded as I took a step back, allowing me to look at his face.