ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR. That's what people say. But for Derek, love is a war and nothing is fair.
Derek used to lived the sweet life, but then, his parents went bankrupt and the life he used to know disappeared. His world was turned up side d...
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When the night of the engagement ceremony finally concluded and after everyone had left, Haden and I were the only people that were left in the house. Of course the workers were there but it somehow just felt as if they didn't even exist. Their presence was close to none-existent. Just knowing I was with him made my thoughts go wild. They somehow managed to wonder into dangerous territory. My mind kept creeping to that incident in my bedroom. Every time I looked at him those thoughts would rush back uncontrollably. No matter how hard I tried to fight them I knew it was a losing battle. Bringing up the courage to even talk to him was incomprehensible and was too farfetched.
When I looked at him the core of my body heated and it shifted all through my body. It was such a strong feeling; so strong that I didn't know what to do with myself. Avoiding his gaze was even harder. I knew full well that he was studying me; every inch of me and the curiosity itched at me to meet his burning gaze.
When I saw him for the first time the day after the engagement ceremony it was unusually regular. I secretly expected something to be different, perhaps, a happy romantic hello or a wink. It felt like he was avoiding me. That was probably my own imagination; I knew this because he wasn't the one ignoring me, it was I who was avoiding him. It was embarrassment above all that led me to it and I knew that all too well. I cursed at my inner coward for backing away every five minutes. It was truly annoying, even for me.
Whenever I saw him there was this tingle inside of me which drove me insane. It was lust. Lust and yearning for his touch, and only that.........or so I thought. But it was more than that. I liked him beyond his looks. It was his presence that drew me to him from the very beginning.
There was no way I could just look at him and not have those scenes returned to my thoughts again and again. Showing me what I wanted and letting me know that I was too much of a coward to go after it.
It wasn't that I didn't like the feeling of attraction I felt when I laid my eyes on him. No; It was just that I liked it a little bit too much. So much that my mind somehow crept to those moments when I touched him, and when I ran my nails down his muscular back, his hauntingly hypnotic eyes teasing me with the smoky gaze that peered into mine.
When our gazes met I started muttering. I could no longer create full sentences or words for that matter. So I avoided looking directly into his eyes. That intense gaze he had just gave me Goosebumps all over. I wanted to crawl into a cold shell and never come out. I was behaving like an insecure virgin.
There were instances where I just wanted to throw my hands around his neck and tug him into a passionate kiss with the hopes that it would turn into more. All I could think about was sex with him. I kept wondering whether if I went up to him and kissed him the way I wanted to would he just end up laughing at me or worse, tell me that this was all just a joke and he was just amusing himself. I didn't want that to happen. I couldn't possibly take it if it did. If all of this turned out to be just a lie and a joke it would surely kill me. I wanted to go out with dignity.
