Garden of The Gods

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"Well, that went well." Mycroft decided, picking up a glass of what looked like whine and chugging it down in one gulp.
"Mycroft, they think he is an idiot." Sherlock insisted.
"The human isn't an idiot in human standards, in comparison to such superior minds such as ourselves..." Mycroft started.
"The human is right here you know, and even though I can't hear everything you all can hear, I can hear this conversation just fine." John insisted, waving his hands around to make sure they didn't forget he was still alive.
"Mr. Watson, it's better if you kept quiet." Mycroft decided.
"Let him speak if he must." Sherlock insisted, putting a protective hand on John's shoulder. Mycroft eyed him very suspiciously, as if wondering what this meant.
"I warned you Sherlock, remember that." Mycroft insisted, and with that he swept out of the room, his red cape flowing out behind him, though not nearly as dramatically as Sherlock's had.
"Warned you about what?" John asked, but Sherlock just took his hand away, stepped out from the table and taking a deep breath.
"Nothing you need concern yourself with." He decided with a small smile, his eyes sweeping John once more as if reevaluating his decisions.
"So, we're going to be...fathers." John muttered. That was a very, very odd thing to say for someone that was only eighteen.
"Yes, I suppose we are." Sherlock agreed. John just looked at him accusingly, as if blaming Sherlock for keeping him in the dark so long.
"And, you knew about this all along?" John clarified. Sherlock looked rather confused, but nodded.
"Well of course, that was the whole reason we needed a human." he agreed. "Is everything alright?"
"Oh, ya, fine and dandy." John agreed.
"I sense sarcasm." Sherlock decided.
"That must be your superb alien senses taking over then." John muttered. Sherlock just sighed, as if he were an annoyed father when his child was throwing a temper tantrum.
"John, if there's anything you need me to clarify, I'd be happy to. Now we know as much as each other, we must get along, we must be fathers." Sherlock insisted. John sighed, a small, dangerous smile on his face.
"Sherlock, you kidnapped me and now you're forcing me into some sort of weird alien biology adoption agency." John insisted. "Back on earth a surprise baby is called an accident, not an Alpha Male."
"This isn't a surprise." Sherlock insisted, tilting his head in confusion.
"It may not be for you, but I've got to admit, I'm pretty bloody surprised." John insisted with a laugh.
"Well, like it or not, this isn't your choice. But I think the best way to go about this is to be mature, to be cooperative, to be parental." Sherlock decided.
"I'm not a parent!" John insisted.
"You will be." Sherlock assured, his green eyes staring deep into John's once more, as if he couldn't get enough of whatever was so fascinating about John's corneas. John took a deep breath, tearing his eyes away because he didn't want to give Sherlock, this secretive, lying Sherlock the satisfaction.
"Why me? Why did you volunteer for this, and why did it have to be me?" John asked.
"I wanted to help my species the best I could, I want to offer everything I have to my kind, as our ancestors had for us to live." Sherlock insisted.
"Yes, but why me?" John asked, irritated at Sherlock's riddles.
"Well, they said I needed to go down and pick myself out a male human, and you caught my eye." Sherlock decided.
"What made me so special?" John asked defensively. Sherlock just smiled, looking down at John as if pitying him. Like it was such a tragedy that John couldn't see what he did.
"I think, Mr. Watson, you'll figure that out for yourself." He decided. John just rolled his eyes, really thankful for all the straight answers he had been getting from this idiot.
"Would you like to take a walk?" Sherlock offered.
"Down the whitewash hallways again? oh, I'd love to." John snapped.
"No, Mr. Watson, through the gardens, a lovely spot, new scenery for you, I thought you'd rather enjoy that after such news." Sherlock corrected. John sighed, but he couldn't help but wonder what would be in an alien garden.
"Fine, but I'm not linking arms with you." He decided. Sherlock just laughed, shrugging defensively.
"I thought you'd like that." Sherlock defended.
"Why would I like that? On earth, that's what couples do, link arms and stroll around. Or at least they used to." John decided. Sherlock nodded again, a small smile on his face as he watched John walk over to the door, where no handle presented itself.
"Yes, well, we are to be a couple soon, are we not?" he asked with a small, almost hopefully smile.
"Don't say that, just...ew." John decided. Sherlock sighed, pulling the door open and leading the way down the hallway. John followed him at a distance, not only because he didn't know when Sherlock's flowing purple cape could fly up and hit him in the face, but mostly because he didn't really want to walk next to such a weirdo. So John was supposed to be the human contributor to some sort of alien/human cross over baby, like something they make old black and white horror movies about. The mutant alien baby, come to terrorize babysitters everywhere. What would they do, take his blood, take his bones, mash them up in a big witch caldron? And why did Sherlock want to volunteer for such a horrible project, unless he was just being a big brownnoser to the Three Leaders? Maybe by volunteering he wanted to convince them to let him keep his human. Once again something John didn't like to be associated with, the chimp on board the spaceship. But what are they even going to do with an alpha male? Make it lead armies, but what are the armies even for? From what John guesses, that spaceship had landed on a previously unoccupied planet, what were they planning on doing with an alpha? And what if John didn't want to do this? What if he didn't want to be part of some pathetic experiment under the supervision of three of the most powerful aliens? Well, that was obvious, he would die. And what would Greg do when he found out John was now biological father number two to some alien hybrid? That scared him more than death.
"John, are you coming?" Sherlock asked.
"Can't you hear my footsteps, I'm here." John snapped.
"Of course I can hear your footsteps, I'm not deaf." Sherlock insisted, turning so quickly that his cape flew out behind him, like a princess twirling at the ball. How come his cape flourished and John's just stuck to his ankles? John had to stop very abruptly to keep from bumping into him; taking a few precautionary steps back to make sure he had his necessary personal space.
"Why'd we stop?" John asked.
"Well, we're here." Sherlock shrugged. John looked around at the seemingly empty hallway, but of course as soon as Sherlock grabbed for a part of the wall, a door appeared and he pulled it open, revealing a magnificent room filled with heat lamps and bright white lights, except the plants that were growing in the pots and trays were like nothing John had ever seen before. There were all sorts of weird plants, from large red flowers that appeared to have thorns around them, to drooping yellow vines that were slowly engulfing the table on which they grew. There were all sorts of odd plants, but some that looked almost human, like a single sunflower planted in a neat little pot near the back.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Sherlock asked with a smile. John moved through the rows, sticky humidity hovering through the warm air as he passed. Sherlock stayed where he was, stroking the fuzzy stems of some very odd looking green plants, which kind of resembled the New York skyline.
"It's very different from any greenhouse I've been to." John admitted.
"Well, that's because you're limited to earthly greenhouses. You should see the ones back home, they're three times this size with large glass rooves, they even keep some native bird and bug species inside to pollenate." Sherlock said proudly.
"Sherlock, that's a common earth method too, you little plagiarists probably got that from us." John insisted. Sherlock just laughed guiltily.
"Maybe." He admitted. John sighed, walking over to a rather orange plant, a sort of tree growing large, orange oval shaped fruits. They looked very good, like a mix between an orange and a mango back home, without the annoying peel around them. John could only imagine the sweetness of such an exotic fruit, he reached up to grab one, as if in a trance...Sherlock's hand slapped his away, moving between John and the plant like a defensive mother.
"No eating those." He decided, pulling John away sharply.
"But they looked so good." John whined. Sherlock dragged him to another row, far from the orange tree. John tried to catch a glimpse of it, but Sherlock stepped into his line of view once more.
"The tree of temptation they call it, we don't know how, but it makes people crave its fruit, which is deadly. We're not to touch it." Sherlock insisted.
"Like Adam and Eve?" John asked curiously, thinking of the religious classes his mother made him go to when he was a kid.
"Who?" Sherlock asked curiously. John sighed, trying to focus more on Sherlock's face in this harsh lighting, the dragging of his heart to that fruit seeming to subside a little bit.
"I'm not going to be like a drug addict now, am I?" John asked.
"You mean for the fruit? It wears off in a couple of minutes." Sherlock shrugged. John nodded, starting to lean backwards onto one of the tables to wait, when Sherlock grabbed his shoulders once more and held him upright.
"What are you..." John turned to look at whatever he was going to lean on and gave a great yell, scrambling away from the table when he saw a large green plant, not unlike a Venus fly trap, except it had large fangs and was snapping hungrily on its stem.
"Like Mario Kart." John decided, the first thing that could come to his mind.
"Also don't want to touch that." Sherlock decided.
"What type of deadly garden is this?" John asked.
"Well, we don't just keep them around to impress humans, they have purposes as well. Food, medicine, poisons, all sorts of things come from all of these plants." Sherlock shrugged.
"So you admit you're trying to impress me?" John asked with an accusing laugh.
"I never said I was trying to impress you, I'm sure you're already plenty impressed with this ship as it is." Sherlock decided.
"Looks like something the humans already made up in movies and such." John admitted.
"You need more convincing that we're superior?" Sherlock asked, raising an eyebrow doubtfully.
"I'm saying you all look like Star Trek knockoffs, without the solid color shirts." John decided.
"We look much cooler." Sherlock insisted, standing up taller as if trying to prove himself.
"No...not really." John shrugged. Sherlock's mouth dropped in offense, but he just frowned and swept dramatically away.
"Speaking of humans, what do you guys really want from me?" John asked, walking after him once more.
"What do you mean, we explained everything." Sherlock insisted.
"Well, I get that you want me for some mutant baby making, but the whole reason you need a human is complete rubbish." John decided. Sherlock didn't look back; he just walked through the rows of plants with boredom.
"You think so? Well, what do you think we want a human for if not those emotions? What do you think you have that's better than us, other than an illogical sense of daring and remorse?" Sherlock asked.
"Well, that's kind of what I wanted you to explain. I can't see any logical reason you'd want the physical aspect of a human, after all the superiority bragging you've been doing." John insisted.
"Yes, I doubt there is anything there that is necessary." Sherlock agreed, continuing his pace through the greenhouse. John stumbled across some long black tubes, probably hoses for watering, but they were leaking some sort of blue fluid, looking kind of like mouthwash.
"Don't step in that." Sherlock suggested, pulling up his cape to make sure he didn't get it wet. 
"So, do you just want a hybrid as an experiment then?" John asked.
"They were telling the truth, there are some emotions that we are unable to produce as strongly as you funny humans, some that were harmful of our potential to survive in our climate. But in war, you can't leave your soldiers behind, a general with no empathy would work his troops to death, a general with no sense of stupidity would never take the hopeless risks you humans have succeeded with. We need an alpha to not only lead our armies but lead our planet." Sherlock insisted.
"And what do you need an army for? Taking over the apes?" John asked.
"We have no use of your earth. From what I know, you humans are draining the planet as it is, you'll be the cause of your own extinction." Sherlock decided.
"Well, good thing I'm here then." John shrugged.
"You want to stay?" Sherlock asked, looking back hopefully.
"No, of course not." John insisted. "I don't even want to be here now."
"If you could leave, would you?" Sherlock asked. John sighed, staring at the back of Sherlock's head as if wondering how he could be so stupid.
"No, I've grown such an inseparable bond to my race car bed. Of course I'd leave, idiot. I have a family too." John snapped.
"I am not an idiot." Sherlock insisted in a harsh voice. John let some distance between them again, in case Sherlock wanted to start strangling people again. "I just thought maybe, with the hospitality I've shown, that maybe you'd like your stay." John made himself keep a straight face, insisting that he not laugh at such a preposterous theory.
"I'd feel a lot better if you didn't kidnap me and not tell my parents I'm alive and let me go back to Earth until this whole baby thing is ready." John decided.
"Well, I can't do any of that. What would we tell your parents?" Sherlock laughed.
"The truth!" John suggested. Sherlock chuckled in front of him, sidestepping a very odd vine that was swinging even though there was no wind.
"And then they'd get the news and the alien investigators and we'd be revealed!" Sherlock insisted.
"Come on, none of the crap that our town spews up is actually believed. You could probably land your ship in the middle of the biggest city and people would just think it was a trick of the light." John assured.
"Well, we're not going to do that either. We have you, that's all that matters. You're safe, you're not going to be in any life defying positions if you behave, and you'll return home to your loving parents before long." Sherlock shrugged.
"And what will you do when I leave?" John asked curiously.
"Are you worried about your dearest friend?" Sherlock asked in a teasing voice, turning the corner and walking down another row, back the way they came.
"No, just wondering what you'll do now that your human left." John shrugged.
"I'll probably be a single parent, forced to raise a child by himself." Sherlock said dramatically.
"Well, I can't see that being true. You'll probably dump the baby on Molly in three days." John guessed.
"Just because I'm a bit rough around the edges doesn't mean I don't care about people." Sherlock snapped, stopping abruptly and swishing around dramatically once more.
"I didn't say that you didn't. You were the one that said your kind has no empathy." John pointed out.
"Not an overwhelming amount, but we do care about others, we can...love." Sherlock assured. John just frowned, crossing his arms doubtfully.
"Can you now? And just who do you love Sherlock?" John asked.
"Well..." Sherlock sighed, thinking about his next choice of words. "That is to be determined. But I'm sure I'll love our child no matter what he turns out to be."
"You mean if he looks a lot like you?" John guessed. Sherlock just laughed, a very human laugh, the mix between angry and amused.
"I'm not sure what he'll look like. Hopefully though, he'll look more like his human father." Sherlock decided. John felt his cheeks blushing just a bit, but he told himself that it was just because he was standing right under a very harsh heat lamp.
"That's preposterous, if me, the inferior being, can't even find a girlfriend on earth, what's to say our son will find one wherever you live?" John asked with a laugh.
"You don't have a girlfriend?" Sherlock asked, sounding surprised.
"Don't you think I'd mention her if I did?" John asked in annoyance.
"Well, I don't know, that's why I was asking whether you did or not." Sherlock snapped. There was a bit of an awkward silence, and John just glared at Sherlock, wondering how someone who claims to be so intelligent can really be an idiot. "So you don't then?" Sherlock asked once more.
"No, I don't." John agreed.
"Good, neither do I." Sherlock decided.
"Why is that good?" John asked.
"Well, we're unattached; don't have the strains of women and responsivities weighing us down." Sherlock shrugged.
"You're saying women are a burden?" John asked.
"Well, some women are..." Sherlock muttered.
"You're no walk in the part either. I'm supposed to be inferior to you but somehow it feels like I already have a child." John snapped. Sherlock looked offended but frowned; as if John's snappy little mouth was adorable.
"Be careful what you say to me John." he warned.
"Or what, you'll strangle me again? Then the Three Leaders will see this domestic violence and not let you participate in this experiment anymore." John warned. Sherlock's frown deepened, but he turned away, as if not wanting John to see his defeat.
"Just come on, hopefully you'll get eaten by a spider bush before we leave." Sherlock decided.
"A what now?" John called, scurrying along to catch to Sherlock's long strides.

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