english ✱ muke

五

"is your throat feeling any better?" luke asks kindly as i sip on the lemon tea.

"是," i reply.

(translation: yes)

"that's good," luke smiles to himself, stirring the milk into his coffee. "无论如何, 你几岁?"

(translation: anyways, how old are you?)

i stare blankly at the blue eyed boy, praying to god that the translation will suddenly pop into my head. alas, it doesn't happen and i'm stuck watching luke with wide green eyes. i take a long sip of tea awkwardly, hoping that luke will just change the topic or say it again in english. when i put the mug down, luke is still waiting for my answer patiently.

"是," i say cautiously.

(translation: yes)

"是?" luke repeats, looking extremely confused.

(translation: yes?)

"是," i confirm unsurely.

(translation: yes)

"you make no sense sometimes," luke chuckles to himself. "but it's cute i guess."

i blush and drink more tea before he can ask anymore questions. my heart sinks to my stomach when i realize that there isn't any more tea left to be drank.

"you know, i just realized something." luke says absentmindedly.

i look at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue with his broad statement.

"you say you speak chinese, but the only word i've ever heard you say in chinese is 'yes'. well, excluding the sentences you spoke from the date we had a while back." luke finishes talking, his blue eyes gazing at me.

he takes a quiet drink of his coffee to give me time to explain but there's nothing to be said. my heart goes haywire inside my chest. to say i'm panicking is an understatement, i'm close to passing out.

"and it's also ironic how you've said more things in english than in chinese. you always seem to understand me better while i'm speaking english," luke adds suspiciously.

"do you want the truth?" i finally sigh when those damned blue eyes of him finally break me apart.

"it'd be nice," luke huffs.

i almost tumble out with the full explanation; how i lied about only speaking chinese to avoid him. to throw him off because i thought he was too annoying to be dealt with. unfortunately, one look at his perfect face and i retreat immediately. if he knew that i lied about everything; he would hate me. i would end our barely existing relationship for good.

"i'm taking english classes," i blurt quickly, my cheeks flushing pink with the lie i've just told.

"you have?" luke beams, his face lighting up. "oh that's great michael! you're english is coming along so well! i never should've doubted you, i feel bad now."

i fake a chuckle. his last sentence only makes me feel worse, like there's an anchor in my heart that's making it sink downwards. everything feels so wrong; i hate lying.

"i'll help you!" luke chats loudly and cheerfully. "you can come over to my place time to time and i'll teach you more about the beautiful language that is english!"

i try to contain a scoff and i only nod. the fact that i'm actually a honours english student is killing me. even though i know luke doesn't know any better, it still annoys me slightly that he thinks that he could possibly educate me further in english. if anything, the roles should be reversed.

maybe things could've been different if i never lied about speaking chinese; maybe luke and i would've been so much closer by now without the nonexistent language barrier between us.

life sucks sometimes.