Somewhere in the Middle

Not Tonight

Jamie slipped out of the dressing room seemingly without notice. Luke had disappeared without word, Greg was in the bathroom, and Pete had just left to see that the crew were getting everything off stage and into the trucks in a timely manner.

With no overnight drive to suffer through, Jamie was looking forward to a night out. To letting loose and getting away. To getting out of his own head for a little while, and making the high last.

The swell of sound from the show was still ringing in his ears, his heart still beat lightly in his chest, and his body felt limber, like there was nothing he couldn't do if he wanted to. And all he wanted to do was keep moving, keep himself suspended in the feeling of weightlessness, the freedom from the heaviness that usually tugged at his chest.

"Oh," she exclaimed when he pulled open the door that would lead him outside. She looked up at him, green meeting blue in confusion and surprise. "Sorry."

His heart beat differently now, still lightly, but more quickly, with more stutters figured into the rhythm.

"I was just..." She gestured behind her with a finger. "I left Luke at the table, and I don't know how long he can manage it there with all those fans, and I said as much, but he said he was fine, and..." She met his eye, seeming to come to a realization. "Pete. I was looking for Pete."

Jamie watched as she raked a hand through her hair, the curls bouncing back like they were annoyed to be tugged out of place to begin with. "Think he's on stage."

She smiled then, but he could tell it was forced. "Right. Um... thanks."

Evie skirted around him then, her eyes cast down, and Jamie wanted there to be more. Wanted there to be more reason for her to look at him. And as he felt her slip behind him, he kicked himself because words—the things that used to be his only solace—were still evasive.

"Where are you going?" her voice asked then.

Jamie felt his heart race and slow all at once as he stopped, his hand on the door.

"Jamie..." she said when he didn't answer, and he should've been surprised to hear disappointment there, but he wasn't. "Don't. Not tonight."

But her disappointment sounded different than Pete's disappointment, different than Greg's or Luke's. It was softer, more fragile, like it could be broken by just the movement of air created with a shake of his head.

So, he turned slowly, afraid to move too quickly, and looked right at her, hoping she'd understand. "I have to."

"No, you don't." She sounded so certain. So hopeful. And that hope sounded tremulous, like it could dashed away by his breath if his words were too harsh.

He closed his eyes, and tried to keep his voice level. "You don't know anything."

He was just about to make a quick escape, leave her with that, when she said, "I know Pete will cancel the tour if he finds out you're gone."

Jamie whipped around again, feeling something heavy and hot fill the light spaces in his chest.

"I heard him," she said, her eyes wide and as determined as the press of her feet to the ground, shoulder-length apart. "And I'll tell him if you go."

Anger tinged with alarm seized Jamie by the chest, and he could only stare at her for a moment as his emotions and thoughts tried to wrap themselves around her words. Then, he laughed.

"You wouldn't do that."

Evie crossed her arms, but she didn't smile back. "Yeah? Wanna bet?"

He searched for the jest in her eyes, but when he came up short, he scowled. "You're kidding, right?"