A New Form of Therapy

Not How I Planned For That To End... GAH!

"How are you?" Justin asks. I can't believe he is back at my place. It's been months and I didn't think he would ever be back here again. I'm not complaining. 

"It was a rough start," I say honestly. "I had a session this morning that turned into a blubbering mess and I don't think I was much help. We're talking again tomorrow, so hopefully we can get through it."

Justin doesn't break eye contact with me as he sits and listens to me rant. I don't tell him who was here, obviously, but I do go into a bit of detail. Zendaya was here and she was more than upset- and rightfully so- about some comments that were made about her during a red carpet event and then afterward when she commented back about it. I was almost in tears just listening to her talk about it. I took a long, deep breath after I was done talking. 

"How was your day?" I ask. 

"Nothing like that," he says with a smile. "But it is even better now that I am here with you. I've missed you." 

"I've missed you too," I say. I reach over and take his hand, folding our fingers together. He is sitting on the middle cushion and I'm sitting sideways on the edge, my legs tucked underneath myself. We sit like that for a moment, not saying a word. 

Eventually, Justin looks over at me. I can't get used to his eyes. They are so rich in color and deep, like there's a long story behind them. "Are you working next Wednesday evening?" 

"That's random. Why?" 

"Are you?" He asks, ignoring my question. I can see that glint in his eye though. Honestly, I'm still not ready to go public with him. Hell, I'm still technically dating Marcus. 

"Depends on what you have planned," I say with the same sly smile he is wearing. 

"I was thinking a late, late night out. Just something simple, like a movie or something. I'm supposed to be at this thing that evening, but I can duck out early. Everyone will think I'm still there and if we're in a dark theater, no one will be the wiser." 

It does sound like a great idea. I think about it a moment longer, quickly weighing the pros and cons. I don't want this time to be like the last time, where we are constantly fighting over going out versus staying in. This seems like a safe compromise. "I'd love to. It sounds fun." 

"Really?" I can hear the surprise in his voice. 

"Yes, really." I smile. "I know last time I was stubborn and I don't want something like that to come between us again. I don't want anything to come between us again. I think that this is a nice, easy outing." 

"I'm glad," Justin says. "I can't wait."

"Me either," I say and lean closer to him. 

                                                                                  *****

"Hey," I say.

Marcus smiles, standing in the door of my apartment. It is Tuesday evening. It's been over a week since our last date to the concert. I'm going on a date with Justin Bieber tomorrow. I have to dump Marcus today. I don't want to hurt his feelings though. 

I've had a great time with Marcus. We've been out a couple of times, but we are always talking. Texting, calling each other, FaceTiming. It is easy to talk to him. He is always so thoughtful of what I like and what I wanted to do. His surprises are always good and made me smile. 

He makes me happy. I'm not going to be happy to do what I'm about to do. 

"Come on in," I say with a small laugh as I realize he is still standing in the hallway. I step aside and let him in, shutting the door behind him. 

"I'm glad you called," he says. "I was hoping we would be able to hang out again soon."

"Yeah," I say. How do I bring this up? Just blurt it out? Beat around the bush? I change subjects altogether. "Would you like something to drink?" 

"Sure," he says. "Water would be fine, if you have it." 

"Coming right up," I say. 

I open the fridge and grab two waters. I take a deep breath and calm myself and my thoughts before going back to the living room. Marcus is leaning against the back of the couch with his arms crossed. He drops them and reaches for one of the waters. Our fingers touch and we both smile. 

Why is this so hard? I've wanted to be with Justin for a long time and I never lost my feelings for him, even when I was with Marcus. But my feelings for Marcus are just as real now. I wish I could just have the best of both. 

"You're awfully quiet today," Marcus comments, breaking the silence in the room and the screaming in my head. 

"I know," I say. "I just have a lot to think about." 

"Want to talk about it?" 

Do I want to talk about it? Yes, I do, Marcus. You just won't like it when I finally get the nerve to do it, I think to myself. I hate letting people down. A thought comes to my mind and I try to find the right words before I speak. 

"I have this... client," I start. He knows I'm a therapist, but that's the extent of it. That's another plus with Justin: I don't have to hide what I do for a living. "He is going through a bit of a rough patch right now." Smart move, I say mentally high-fiving myself. He might be suspicious if I say 'she', but he shouldn't now. "He is dating this one girl, but his ex just came back into his life and he wants to be with her but doesn't want to hurt the other girl because he has feelings for her too. I'm just trying to figure out what kind of advice to give him." 

"That's easy," Marcus says. 

I look at him surprised. "How is that easy? If he has real feelings for both of them, how is that an easy choice?" 

"Well, the way I see it," he starts as I move to mimic his position against the couch. "Is if he really loved or just liked the first girl then he wouldn't have fallen for the second girl. The second girl is who he should be with. Or just dump them both." 

I thought about that. I didn't like the thought of it, but I remember telling Taylor that same thing once. Unintentionally using my own words against me. Thank you, Marcus. "But what if he was broken up with the first girl for a couple months before even meeting the second girl?"

"I still say the same thing," Marcus says. "True feelings don't go away in just a couple months. Now, if this guy still had feelings for the first girl while dating the second girl and was just stringing them along, that's not cool. That's the kind of guy I would punch without hesitation." 

Okay, I think. I need to change this conversation now. There's no way I can break up with him now. What am I supposed to do? "I'll take that into consideration." 

"That's just my opinion, but you know the situation better than I do, so you decide what is best to tell him." Darn right I know this situation the best. His opinion just made it a hundred times harder to decide what to tell myself though. "Is that all that's bothering you? You seem like you have more on your mind." 

"I have plenty on my mind right now, but I don't feel like talking about it anymore." 

"Let me help distract you," he says. 

Before I can react, Marcus leans closer and our lips connect. My brain doesn't register how wrong it is as I melt into his embrace, our water bottles falling somewhere onto the couch. 

Neither of us pull away for what seems like several minutes. Now that it's happened, I feel guilty as hell. This is not how it was supposed to happen. He is supposed to be leaving, feeling sad or angry or something other than happy. We are not supposed to be in my living room making out. 

Gah! 

**Sooo sorry for the long wait & the accidental upload earlier today! But here it is! And there's so much more dramaaaaaa.... This story isn't even close to being done yet! I've got big plans! Not sure when I'll update again, but I will be working on the next chapter soon!**