Emotional Connections

The Doll In The Window

This is a true story, little Patricia is me.

The emotion here being Desire.

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If I remember rightly, it was nearing Christmas and they stood, the three of them, on the pavement outside looking into the shop window. For months now little Patricia had dreamed of owning a doll. A doll wearing a white dress and a veil. A bride doll. Her mum and dad had decided to take her to the shop to choose for herself. It was incredibly exciting.

Patricia was mad about dolls. They were her most favourite toy, (well she was still only five or six and had not yet learnt about the wonder of roller skates). So the year was 1957 or 1958.

"Look Trisha, there's a bride doll" said mum.

"Is that the one you would like?" asked dad.

Patricia looked, but could only see one bride doll and suddenly she felt disappointed. She did not like the doll at all.

Her eyes darted here and there. She had never seen so many dolls before, all in one place. Suddenly, she spotted the most beautiful doll she had ever seen. It was a black doll, dressed as a gypsy with a red and green taffeta dress. Over her long black curls she wore a red scarf and in her ears were large gold ear rings. She had the most beautiful brown eyes a small nose and a slightly open red mouth, through which could be seen white teeth and a red tongue. Patricia gasped at the sight of her.

"That's the doll I want, that one." she cried, pointing to the black doll.

"Don't you want a bride doll now?" asked dad.

"No, no...I want that doll." Patricia cried.

So they went into the shop. The doll was examined and Patricia was adamant that it was the one she wanted. The doll was paid for and carried home in a cardboard box.

The doll was named Suky and was loved to distraction. After a while the ear rings were lost, the clothes became rags and, silly little girl that she was, Patricia cut her hair thinking it would grow again. It did not. Oddly enough, for a doll dressed as a gypsy, she had a voice box inside and when pushed forward said 'Mama.'

After a while, Patricia dressed the doll in baby clothes and it became a baby doll. Of all her dolls she loved this doll the very best. As she grew older, she thought it must have been a collector's doll, as it was made of strange stuff, like white chalk, which was quite fragile. The doll was dropped once or twice and the fingers came off and had to be stuck on with glue.

Patricia never did have a Bride doll, nor did she ever desire one again. The memories of Suky will live forever with her, though the doll was discarded and thrown away many years ago. And even now, she would be the most beautiful doll in any shop window.

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