What's Up, Doc? ▹ bugs bunny

Chapter 1

"Eh, the show needs an," Bugs Bunny, the legendary comedian cartoon sat in the foreign form of a half-man, resting an elbow on a palm and extending the rest of his arm to tap his jawline. "Alligator... Wait, wait, wait. Scratch that." He shook his head and the grey ears sitting atop his head flopped gently to the motion. "Crocodile?" With a disgruntled hum, his eyes shut.

A chill crawled across the auditorium floor, wrapping its invisible wisps around the two males lounging in the room, and it caused the toes of his shoes to point at one another. Above their heads rumbled the building's air conditioning vents, mimicking famished stomachs as they too groaned for a snack. The usefulness of his thoughts had dispersed some time ago, minutes into the meeting, and every means of getting bright ideas had churned into anything but. The half-eaten pie in the dressing room from that morning had begun to look appealing, but there was a schedule to follow.

This was where the magic happened. Here, in this building, was where the Looney Tunes cartoons were looked through and hired by the top man—more to say billionaire bunny. Though, there wasn't much magic about two actors sitting in a room and swiping past résumé after résumé for hours on end at a time.

Porky, a pudgy male dressed in beige khakis and a blue vest, with his mop of blonde hair brushed across his forehead, stuttered after his boss. "But—but they've already—already found the new possible Toons."

"Porky, Porky, Porky." Exasperated, Bugs reached out a white-gloved hand to pat his short companion's head. "Dat isn't my problem, is it? I'm just here for the bright ideas." He chuckled and flicked his hand belittlingly, a motion to get things moving along. The day wasn't there for them to waste. "Can we hurry it up? I have a show in less than half an hour. What would people say if I were late to my own shoot?" The half-rabbit looked down at his bare wrist, pretending to read a watch.

"Yes—yes, sir, Bunny, sir," Porky replied with several nods, going ahead to click the remote. It switched the slide to show another candidate's headshot.

Talent could be found in any nook and cranny in the world. Anyone could have talent and anyone could be unique, but the one thing about Bugs and his colleagues was that they were all classics. They had been through the ages and he didn't understand why the corporation was searching for someone new. They were all loved and dear to the hearts of their audience.

A personality could be scrapped and remodeled. Why couldn't they choose one of the others and reshape them instead of going through all this trouble?

The eyes of the male dressed in grey had been wandering aimlessly around the barren room, not caring much about the production but more of wanting to hightail it out of the building and film his shots with the duck. Only then would he be free to go home and enjoy some well-deserved time alone. But, supposedly, the world had other plans; at long last, the screen flashed brightly and caught Mr. Bunny's eyes off-guard.

They widened. They blinked. His gloved fists reached up to rub at the eyelids of the closed bulbs. Finally, he was able to compose himself.

"Porky," Bugs began to drawl out, leaning over to the plump male, his own eyes never leaving the face on the screen. Then again, there was no need to get hasty with his reshaping a current actor, idea. "Who is d'is lovely creature?" His eyes half closed dreamily, but he'd had enough decency to stop a sigh.

"Uh," Porky began, jumping in his seat to look for the clipboard that he had set down a while back. Panicking, he stood up and threw himself over the back of his chair, retrieving the board and flipping through the many papers with quivering fingers. "L-let's—let's see here. It's, uh, uh, um, [Y/N] Fox." He ran a finger across the name of the actress, reading over the biography listed under the female's name, "A vixen, twenty-three years old, sneaky and—and... quick, snippy, sassy... I-it says she—she can work with Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner..."

"Sold!" This time, it was Bugs that jumped out of his seat and onto his feet, an arm stretching into the air with his index finger pointed as if he'd just come up with the greatest idea in the world. "I mean, hired. Send [Y/N] a lettoir of acceptance. She's our new Looney Tune, big star." He threw his arms out, the biggest grin taking over his face. "Get to it, Porky!"

"Yes, right away!" Porky winced when Bugs' hand hit his clipboard, causing the papers to loosen and fly all over the room. He rushed to pick up the parchments, scrambling out of the room afterward to type up the letter to inform [Y/N] that she was going to be the next Toon on the show. Immediately. She had to be here immediately because, if it was one thing that everyone knew, Bugs Bunny did not like to wait.

Bugs dropped his arms and continued to study the face of the female fox on the screen. "Hm," he hummed, narrowing his eyes as he looked her up and down, musing, "She's the one. She's gonna be a star."

The comedian ran a hand through his white hair, avoiding the delicate notches where his ears grew out from his scalp, just scratching at his temple afterward.

Then, as if his nonexistent watch went off to remind him, he snapped from his thoughts.

"Oh, boy, I'm going to be late." Sucking in a breath, he picked his way out of the audience seats and headed down the winding hallways. All over the corridors, he caught sight of himself in the mirrors and trophy cases. His skin was a light color but was dark compared to the thick strands of grey-rooted white hair on his head. Blue eyes flickered around to admire his charming features, looking down his clean-cut suit as he walked deeper into the building—there were noises, loud noises, of people shouting, sound effects blasting and objects impacting ahead.

"Daffy! Put that down!"

It was followed by the cracking of splitting wood, like a baseball bat snapping into pieces.

"Ten minutes 'till the first take!"

Bugs Bunny turned a corner, stepping out to the lit filming arena. He began to pull off his silver blazer, tossing it aside to a filming crew member to catch and hang up for him, then his fingers began to work at the grey-striped tie around his neck.

"Bugsthie's here, positionths everyone! I've got my lineths. We go live in eight!"

He began to unbutton his white button-up, all while pacing over to one of the foldable walls for the Toons to do their Changing.

"Seven minutes, Bugs!"

"But I do get the show to myself if he doesthn't make it, right?" Daffy hollered over the filming crew's orders.

"Shaddup, duck."

"Why you—"

The white-haired comedian yawned and walked behind the folds, pulling off his button-up and tossing it over the railing. "In a minute!" While he unbuckled his belt and started to slip off his pants, the man began to shrink down into the character that every Looney Toon fanatic loved. A bunny. The Bugs Bunny.

"Five minutes!"

He quickly slipped off his shoes and socks to allow his feet to shift, grow and morph into those large paws, rolling his shoulders back to get comfortable in his usual state of norm. This was him. This was what he really was. This was what he loved to be.

Bugs stared at the mirror hanging on the wall, eyes scanning over the buck tooth smirk, looking at the ears that rose naturally as they should. He turned to the side to take a look at the tail on his hindquarters; it flicked and he chuckled.

"Three minutes!"

"Bunny!"

Bugs' attention snapped away from his reflection and he left his Changing area, running up to the stage where Daffy Duck stood with his arms crossed over his black-feathered chest.

"So you made it, did yah?" Daffy snorted, his orange flipper tapping on the floor.

Bugs rolled his eyes at his coworker, head lolled sideways. "Eh, what's it look like, duck?" He saluted to the film crew before he and Daffy entered the house set, where they were quickly dressed in their robes and given coffee cup props. All the while, he thought about the new Toon that would be coming in soon. [Y/N], that's her name, isn't it?

"We go live in five, four, three, two -"

It's show time.