The freckled horse (Jean Kirschstein x Marco Boldt)

The Bitter End

Jean was already panting when he found Armin who was sitting on a bench, his back facing Jean and staring on to the horizon. He approached Armin and as he was walking towards him, Armin turned to face Jean. Jean noticed that Armin had red puffed eyes and realized that Armin was crying while Jean was searching for him.

Armin was avoiding Jean's gaze and was feeling uneasy, unsure if he should speak now, or to wait for Jean to speak first. There was a long awkward silence, Armin could see that Jean is getting perplexed by the silence and he might be waiting for Armin to speak first. Seeing this, Armin drew a deep breath and spoke.

"Jean, this not going to work any longer. What we are doing is ruining our friendship with Reiner, Bertholdt and Marco, and maybe everyone that we are friends with. We should really end this today or sooner,Jean." Armin spoke, his ocean blue eyes looking directly at Jean.

Jean was unable to move, he was taken aback by Armin's words. He did not expect something like this from Armin. He did not want to lose Armin, he wanted him to stay but he also wishes for Marco to stay.

Armin inched closer towards Jean. "Jean, you have to choose. Is it going to be me or Marco?"

What have I gotten myself into? I don't even know how I came to do this. I dont want to lose Marco and I also don't want to lose Armin. I love the both of them. Yet, I know I can only keep one and abandon the other. Who am I going to choose? Marco was always there for me, and so does Armin. And then it came to a really bad situation, I got people involved. And now I have hurt the two people who deserved it the least, Jean thought to himself. He did not notice the tears that ran through his face as he was bothered by his own thoughts.

Armin looked down and forced a smile. "I thought so. Goodbye Jean."

Jean just stood there. He felt as if all the weight of the world was upon him, now that Armin left him. He cursed himself, he wanted to disappear. He repeatedly punched a tree, pouring all the frustrations that he was feeling. He did not stop until his knuckles were bleeding and his hands felt numb. He knelt down and sobbed, holding his bleeding knuckles, his head resting on them. It felt that Jean stayed there for quite a long time, for the sun is already setting, and the first evidence of twilight is painted up in the sky.

Jean felt so devastated that the only solution he could think of was to drown himself in alcohol. He wiped his tears with the back of his sleeve and left the campus grounds. He proceeded to the city and looked for a place he could wast himself away. He saw Eren's bar and decided to go inside and there Jean stumbled upon Connie who was sitting alone in a table for eight people.

Connie waved at Jean "HEY JEAN! Come here. Why are you alone? Where's Marco? Is he going to catch up with you in a while?"

"Nah. He is studying right now. We have exams remember?" Jean chuckled but inside his heart is breaking into smithereens. "Ey, Connie, you meeting up with someone?"

"Yeah, I'm waiting for Sasha, Mikasa, Ymir and Historia. We were planning to enjoy some beer and party a bit before the exams." Connie turned around and saw Sasha and Mikasa just entered the bar, followed by Ymir and Historia. "SASHA! Over here."

Sasha beamed at Jean and sat beside Connie "Hi Jean, Where's Marco?"

"He is studying at our dorm." Jean beamed back at Sasha. "I'll transfer to the alcohol bar and get myself something to drink and besides I might be disturbing you guys."

"You can stay here. You won't be a bother." Mikasa offered, adjusting the scarf on her neck.

"Nah, thanks for the offer, Mikasa. You guys study hard for the exams." Jean said as he waved at the group.

Jean approached the bar and ordered two shots of Vodka on the rocks, but he felt that it was not enough to drown all the pain away. So in a desperate attempt, he ordered a bottle of Jaegermeister and the drink was super effective. After consuming only half of the bottle Jean was already so drunk. He spouted lots of things regarding his problems in life.

Jean became so drunk that he can't talk properly nor walk upright any longer. His friends tried to stop him from leaving but he wrestled his way out of their grasp, even Eren and the bar bouncers couldn't stop him. Jean was out of the bar and was recklessly crossing the street when out of nowhere a car came, running at high speeds and hit Jean. The impact threw Jean 5 meters away and hit a post. His head was bleeding, he had several broken ribs and his leg was dislocated at an undesirable angle. He was immediately taken to the hospital by the driver of the car.

Jean wakes up, and found himself inside the hospital with medical contraptions attached to him. On his left he saw Marco, he felt really happy seeing Marco sleeping right beside his hospital bed. Jean was so happy to the point that he was already crying tears of joy. He gently touched Marco's hair and brushed stray hair away from Marco's face.

Marco wakes up and caught Jean's hand and immediately placed it back on the bed. Jean felt anxious about Marco's behavior, he might still be mad at him but, if he is, then Marco won't be there beside him. Marco raised his head and under the shadows created by his hair, Jean could see that Marco was sad yet determined to say what is on his mind.

"Jean, I am sorry but it all ends here." Marco slowly stood up and headed towards the door.

"Marco! If you wanted to end this, you shouldn't have bothered to bring me to the hospital. You should have left me dying on that street" Jean tried to sit up but a sharp pang of pain shot up his sides forcing Jean to flop back on the bed.

Marco, looked back at Jean. "I was not the one who brought you here. Don't assume too much, Jean."

Marco left the hospital room, leaving Jean alone. No other sound can be heard aside from the dying of Marco's foot steps. Jean stared at the ceiling for a while, then covered his eyes with his forearm and sobbed bitterly. He wanted to throw anything within reach but all he could do was to let out silent screams as he received a grim reminder that because of his stupidity, he lost not just Armin but also Marco.

-END-