Before I Ran || Perrentes

Chapter 19: Memories That Fade Like Photographs

And how the days flew.

Every day Alex came a little closer to repairing the car was a day closer to Tony's arrival at Veil Hill, and that was a day closer to a future Tony couldn't fathom and that terrified him every time he thought about it, and it was another day falling harder for someone he could not have.

As the days flew, Tony noticed how people were changing.

On Monday, still tired from the restless night he'd had after the nightmare, he fell asleep at noon on Mike's shoulder, and he'd woken up with Mike's arm around him and was sure it hadn't been there when he'd dozed off.

On the same day, Tony was walking on the first floor when he heard Vic and Jaime from their room, and as he rounded the corner he just about saw through the open door Jaime sweep up Vic in a warm hug from behind, and begin peppering kisses down his neck and shoulder. Vic swayed slightly, hands going to Jaime's, and groaned. "Himes, it's the middle of the day," he protested in a giggle, and Tony had backed up and pressed himself against the wall so he wasn't peeping anymore - but he stayed listening, because he was nosy.

"I've missed you," Jaime said softly. Vic huffed.

"Missed me? We've barely spent a day apart in the last two years."

"I've still missed you," Jaime said, and suddenly all childish tones had gone from his voice and the sounds of kissing stopped. "I've missed this. I've missed Jack and Alex, and going to see the horses, and...I've missed hanging out with Mike without him being our driver, he's just your brother, just my best friend...and I still miss home, and I miss my mom's cooking...and I miss the green strip near your house where we used to play as kids. And I miss your dad. I miss his jokes, and his music. I miss riding our bikes near the beach at sunset and drinking behind the sand dunes and I miss your mom getting pissed at us for it. And I miss us as we used to be. When you laughed more and smiled more, and...I've missed you. And I love you, and...it won't always be this way, my love. One day..."

"It's okay," Vic said softly, as Jaime started to sound more and more upset. "Don't...don't be upset, I don't know what to do when you're upset. Things are always the other way round," he laughed nervously. "Hush now. It's okay."

On Tuesday, Jack asked Tony if he wanted to help him turn out the horses, and Tony jumped at the opportunity, dropping all other activities and following Jack out like a puppy. The horses were beautiful creatures - there were two. One was an elegant, slender Palomino with a golden coat, whose name was Sandy, and the other was a gorgeous Friesan, black from head to tail with feathered hooves and the longest mane and tail, and his name was Dust. Sandy was highly strung but loving, and according to Jack, great fun to ride over jumps because she was so spring-loaded. Dust was reserved, shy and not particularly affectionate towards people he didn't know, Jack told him - and yet when Tony went to the stable gate, Dust hesitated, whickered once, and then plodded towards him and hung his head over the stable door. Tony smiled gently, tenderly lifted a hand and stroked Dust's jawbone, and with the other hand rubbed softly with his fingers down his nose.

"Wow," Jack said, impressed as he tangled his fingers in Sandy's mane. "Dust doesn't like anybody first off. And he's got good judgement. You must really be a good soul."

Dust's eyes were big, round and dark, set wide on either side of his skull. As they shone beneath the stable light Tony thought they reminded him of Mike.

Jack gave him seeds and grain, poured them into the cupped palm of his hand. "Hold your hand out flat," he instructed. "So he doesn't eat your fingers."

Tony did as he was told, straightening out his fingers as he offered his hand to Dust. He sniffed the seeds a little, snorting slightly, and then his rubbery lips picked up the grains with a gentle munching sound, and Tony giggled, tickled by the feeling and oddly glad that a horse trusted him enough to eat directly out of his hand. And the pang returned soon after this, because all good things he was encountering were not going to last.