New Cop In Town | Blue Bloods

Crash but Don't Burn

It was approaching the end of our tour. The sky was darkening and the street lamps had all turned on. It was fairly uncomfortable in the stuffy car. I was dealing with a pretty large amount of anxiety after what had happen that morning. "Jamie..." I started. My heart began to race. I felt... wrong. "Jamie, what if I made the wrong decision? What did I do? What if I killed that little boy, or even both of them? Ugh, and did they even catch the perp?" I was speaking so fast it was almost inaudible. My voice was cracking and my eyes were stinging. This never happened. Not for years. I instinctively grabbed the objects closest to my sides. Thinking it was the armrest, I squeezed my left hand closed while trying to control my breathing. I didn't realize that I was holding onto Jamie's arm with a death grip. Before I knew it, the car was pulled over and Jamie was calling my name, and tears were streaming down my face.

"Hannah, what's wrong?" He was shaking my shoulder with his free arm. I just shook my head in response. "Are you okay? You're breathing really heavily and you're crying." He pushed hair out of my face. All of a sudden, I heard the radio go off. I panicked even more and I unbuckled my seatbelt and practically leapt out of the car. I couldn't handle any more. I had no idea where I was so I ran across the sidewalk into an alley and leant against the brick building on the edge of the street. I saw Jamie walk out of the car to follow me. "Hannah? Listen, I requested a break for us. No more calls for a few minutes. What's going on?" I grabbed onto his shoulders to steady myself as he spoke. He wrapped his arm around me to provide support. I collapsed into him.

"I'm sorry," I muffled into his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm acting like a baby." I choked out. I wiped my eyes as he held on to me.

"You aren't acting like a baby. That was a rough scene and I wasn't there to help you, and it's still your first few days in New York. It was a hard decision and medically, you made a very good choice." Jamie soothed. I sniffed, my nose running and my eyes all puffy. My watch beeped. Our tour was over. "Look. It's 8 PM. The tour is over. There's nothing else to worry about. You can go home." The moment Jamie stressed the word home, I lost it and began to sob.

"No, Jamie. I can't go home. I don't have a home. I live in a crappy apartment on some random street somewhere in a huge city filled with crappy people. I miss Boston, I miss my friends and my family. I want to go home, but I can't. I can't because I don't have a home anymore. I don't want to go back to my apartment. It's dark and small and lonely and I'm just really scared. I'm scared and alone and I don't know what to do." I was letting it all out. I didn't intend to, but I just couldn't stop. I was getting lightheaded from the anxiety. The knot in my stomach was growing bigger. I just didn't want to be alone again.

"Okay. It's okay. You can crash at my apartment tonight. It's okay. You won't be alone. I won't let you be alone." Jamie hugged me and I hugged back. I didn't come into New York to find a boyfriend. I really didn't. But fate leads to one thing and another...

Jamie brought me back to the precinct and waited for me to get changed. I brought my extra clothes that I bring to work every day down to Jamie's car. We drove to his apartment building. I was barely paying attention at that point, so I didn't exactly register where I was. "Alright, here we are." Jamie elbowed me playfully. I smiled. He was already making me feel way better. He jumped out of the car and jogged to the passenger side to open my door. I followed him outside. He brought us into a fairly large apartment complex and up to the second floor.

His apartment was nice; way bigger than mine. He walked into the kitchen and pulled two glasses out of the cabinet. "Want anything to drink?" He called to me. "We've got water, coke, coffee, beer, whiskey, pretty much anything." Jamie gestured to the fridge like a gameshow host. I laughed.

"Water sounds great." I replied. He grabbed a beer and a pitcher out of the fridge and poured me a glass of water from the pitcher. He poured the beer into the other pint glass and sat down on the couch, motioning for me to follow. I grabbed the water and sat down next to him. "Look, I'm really sorry. I'm usually never like this. I don't cry on the job. I barely cry at all. It's just, I've had a really rough week and I guess it all boiled over today. I'm really, really sorry." I stared down at my glass, running my finger around the rim.

"Don't sweat it. Seriously, everyone has bad days. This city is still new to you. It's big and awful and takes some getting used to." Jamie said. He put his hand on my shoulder.

I still felt guilty. "Jamie, really. I don't need the 'everyone has bad days' talk. I shouldn't have cried. That was unprofessional." He stayed silent but nodded, hand still on my shoulder. "Listen, I'm sorry. I appreciate all of this. And I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight. Thank you." I leaned into his arm and looked up into his eyes. Was this going where I thought it was going?

We both leaned in, our foreheads touching. Our noses brushed up against each other. I parted my lips, and our mouths gently collided. It started out soft and slow, but quickly grew more passionate. I placed my hand on his cheek and he wrapped his arm around the small of my back. I leaned into him even further, trying to get as close as possible. It felt like fireworks and explosions and just about the best kiss you could ever imagine.

He pulled away slowly. Everything was bliss for about 20 seconds, until I realized what just happened.

WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?

My head started spinning. "Um, hey, it's getting late and I'm pretty tired. I think I'm gonna go to sleep." I faked a yawn and rubbed my eyes. Jamie scooted away on the couch and stood up.

"Oh, uh... yeah, yeah, of course. I'll, um," he ran his fingers through his hair, blushing. "I'll be in my room if you need anything." I couldn't help but stare. Damn, he was hot.

"Alright, sleep well." I called out. He turned and sauntered into his room, flipping off the light to the living room in the process. I was surrounded by darkness. The only light was from the dim table lamp behind me. I laid there for a while, trying to process everything. It had been a crazy day.

After a few minutes of laying in complete shock and exhaustion, I turned off the lamp behind me and dozed off on Jamie Reagan's couch.