Sex Lessons | L.H

54. Talk

A.N// enjoyyyy ;-)
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Luke's POV

Kate cried for a solid ten minutes more, and when she was finished, I led her to the couch so we could sit down and talk. I didn't know what I was going to say. I'd tried to plan it out before I came over, but now I was drawing blanks.

She sat close to me, so close that our legs were touching. It was such an odd concept to me at this point because it felt like I hadn't seen her in so long. Honestly, I just wanted to cuddle, but there were more important things that needed to happen right now.

Kate let out a deep sigh after another minute passed of me trying to figure out what to say. I reached over to put my hand on her upper thigh, but I ultimately decided against that move and retracted quickly.

A few more beats of silence went by before I just asked what was really on my mind. I wanted to start this whole thing off slowly.

"How are you feeling?" I questioned, trying to make the concern in my voice evident. I wanted her to know that I cared, a lot more than she would ever know or understand.

"I don't know," she answered simply. I didn't think she was being honest, but that's what I needed right now. We both had to lay all of our cards on the table, no more secrets.

"Kate, you just had a breakdown, and you know we need to sort this out. Please talk to me," I pleaded. This wasn't going to get anywhere if either of us were being difficult. It was never hard for us both to convey our feelings towards each other once we actually did get into a relationship, but I could understand why it may've been hard now.

She reached over and placed her hand on top of mine, which was unexpected. It sent a strange tingling feeling up my arm, not like the one I usually felt. It was better, and I had no idea why.

"Luke, I love you, but I don't know if I can ever trust you again," she finally replied. Her words stung, a lot. It was definitely not something I wanted to hear, but we were getting somewhere.

"What?" I questioned, only slightly confused. "Of course you can trust me, you know that."

"You said the same thing at the beginning of our lessons, but you were lying to me the whole time. How do you think that makes me feel? It sucks, Luke, so bad." Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, and I could tell she was trying to hold everything in. I don't think I could emotionally handle her crying again tonight.

"I wasn't lying to you," I tried defending myself. "Everything I've ever said to you has been honest, everything. All of the 'I love you's', all of the kissing and touching, it's all been genuine. All of those feelings were real." I looked over at her, and her face was blank like none of this was fazing her. She'd seemed to be that way since all of this blew up, emotionless, until a half an hour ago.

"I get that, but your initial intention wasn't. It was just to take my virginity so some other guy wouldn't have it, and Luke, that's honestly so messed up," she said, her voice still wavering a bit.

"Yes, and I will admit that I went about it the wrong way, but I was just trying to protect you. I didn't want you to get hurt," I countered. My voice raised slightly without me meaning for it to, and it scared me. This could easily turn into something that would really hurt our relationship instead of helping it.

"Then, you should've just told me. This all could've been avoided if you would have just been honest with me from the start. We were best friends, and we were supposed to tell each other everything." My head dropped.

I knew she was right, and I knew that I'd messed up, but it made it seem a lot worse coming form her perspective. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be in her position.