Haunting Past

Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

 Grace was still sat on Jacob’s lap.  He hadn’t said anything to her as she told her story, and he remained silent now that she had finished.  In all honesty he wasn’t sure what he should say, he wasn’t sure what he was feeling.  Jacob knew that he needed to respond to her, but he needed some space, he needed to process everything, he was angry right now that someone could do that to her, he didn’t want her to see that.  He looked down at her and cupped her face in his hands, he needed to go out.  “Grace,” he waited for her to look up at him.  “Thank you, for trusting me, I just ...” she didn’t let him finish.  She pushed herself up from his knee and screamed at him to leave.  “Grace, please.”  He could see the tears falling down her face, and he knew why, her friends had also got up from their seats and were stood near to her, she thought he was going to leave her.  Jacob looked pleadingly at Luke, and somehow he managed to get his message across, he needed Grace alone, he couldn’t have them stepping in and chasing him away.  His time for processing would have to wait, she needed him now and he mentally kicked himself for not realising that in the first place.  Hannah and Casey protested as Luke took hold of both their hands and dragged them out of Grace’s bedroom.  Jacob looked at Grace, she looked angry and hurt and it was partly his fault, he didn’t like that.

The silence between them was too much to bear.  Grace wanted him to leave, she didn’t want his pity, and she wasn’t sure what he was going to do, reliving those years of her life was painful and she suddenly felt all the anger that she should have had towards Ben.  Jacob was over to her in two strides, but in her eyes all she saw was Ben and all the things that he had done to her.  She tried to push him away he wouldn’t let her.  “Let me go, you can leave, I don’t want you here.”  The tears started falling again as she fought with him to let her go.  She found herself bringing her fists to his chest, pounding him, begging him to just let her go.  Jacob let her hit him, after everything that she had just relived, she needed to get angry, and if he could help her with that then he would.  She was shouting at him as if he was the one who had put her through that life, she was shouting so loud that Luke came back into the room, she didn’t notice, but Jacob did.  Luke was about to step in when Jacob shook his head at him, so he turned and left hoping that it would all be okay.  The rate of her pounding his chest slowed and the shouting got quieter, “I hate you, I hate you.  I was fine, why can’t you leave me alone.  Let me live, please Ben, let me live.”  She pleaded as she felt the fight leave and she fell to her knees, Jacob went with her, his arms still around her.  Grace hung her head in defeat.

“Feel better?”  Jacob asked gently, she was shocked at the voice that she heard, it wasn’t Ben she had been fighting and the realisation made the tears fall again.  She apologised to him over and over.  “Hey, it’s fine.  I can’t see you cry anymore tonight baby, it’s killing me.  You needed that, and I’m glad I could be that for you.”  Jacob’s arms tightened around her and she welcomed it.  “I’m not leaving Grace.”  She pulled back and looked at him needing to see whether there were any lies in his words.  Jacob knew what she was doing and smiled; he leaned forward and gave her a small peck on the lips.  “I’m not going anywhere,” he repeated.  “Grace, I ... I love you.”  Grace gasped, she wasn’t sure that she had heard him right, but she didn’t dare ask in case she had heard wrong.  She was knelt in front of him in his arms, and he had told her that he loved her.  Grace found herself giggling, which wasn’t quite the reaction that Jacob had hoped for.  As Jacob listened to her giggling, he doubted his timing, the loving gaze he was giving turned to confusion and then embarrassment.  He pulled away from her and got to his feet which shocked her.  “I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.”  He walked away quickly; he didn’t want to give her a chance to make him feel any worse about what he had just said.  Half way down the first flight of stairs he realised that he was only wearing his boxer shorts and cursed to himself, he didn’t want to go back and face her.

Grace wasn’t expecting him to walk away, that had shocked her, but as she replayed in her mind what had happened, she couldn’t blame him.  He had opened his heart to her after she had fought against him, and she had laughed to disguise her nerves, she slapped her hand to her forehead and got herself up off the floor to go after him.  “Jake, Jake,” she ran out of the bedroom to find him stood half way down the stairs in just his boxer shorts looking lost.  “Jake, please, come back up here.”  Jacob looked up at Grace who had puffy eyes from where she had been crying, but had a glow about her from where she had been giggling, “Please.”  He sighed and made his way back up the stairs; she took hold of his hand and pulled him over to sit on the bed.  When he sat she pushed him onto his back and straddled him, before he could say anything she slammed her lips against his, and hoped she could convey all that she was feeling for him. 

Jacob didn’t know how to react.  The woman he loved was straddling him and kissing him with everything she had, he knew how he should be reacting, but the story that Grace had just told him still bothered him, her reaction to his confession, they needed to talk about it.   He didn’t want to be the one to bring it back up, but he knew that he couldn’t let her keep kissing him or he wouldn’t be able to stop and he needed to know.  Reluctantly he pushed on her shoulders to just lift her away from his lips.  “Grace, I’m sorry but we need to talk about what you’ve just told me, and what I’ve just told you,” he felt cold as Grace lifted herself off him and went to sit away from him in the arm chair in the corner of the room. He noticed she had pulled her knees to her chest protectively and as he sat up he looked into her eyes not sure how to start.

“I’m not really sure what to say.  I didn’t report the abuse to anyone, I just ran away.”  Grace rested her chin on her knees.  “I didn’t think that he would find me, I thought not using my first name would be enough, he never knew my middle name, come to think of it he was never really that interested in anything about me.”  Grace sighed and walked back over to Jacob.  “I’m going to go to the police and see if I can get a restraining order against him, I can’t go through that life again.”  Jacob pulled her to his lap.

“You won’t have to.  I won’t let him hurt you,” Jacob made a promise to her, he’d took up boxing just to keep fit, now maybe he would need those skills to protect Grace.  “So, all the fears that you had, are you ok, is there anything I shouldn’t do?”  Jacob didn’t want to be the cause of any panic attacks; he’d already caused one through the gallery exhibition and didn’t want a repeat.

Grace looked up at him and smiled.  “For some reason Jake, I feel completely safe when I’m with you.  Luke was right earlier, I’ve never been able to come down from a panic attack like I did with you before the exhibition, you must have a gift” Grace pulled his face down so she could kiss his cheek.  “I love you too Jake.”  She looked into his eyes as she said those words and he knew that she meant each word.  “I’m tired, let’s go to bed.”  Jacob didn’t need any more of an invitation, he pulled back the covers and he climbed into bed, pulling Grace into his arms within minutes they were both asleep.