Killer

Chapter 6

"Sweetheart?" I said, quirking an eyebrow. Ryan blushed and couldn't meet my eyes. 

"I was trying to go for the dramatic."

I laughed and moved forward, sliding my phone into my back pocket. I shook my head and looked at the building in front of me that was Chuck E. Cheese. 

"I'm not ten, you know," I said, turning back to look at him. 

He seemed to not be able to look at me at all today. He mumbled something along the lines of  "it was just a joke" and started back toward the car. 

"Wait!" I called after him. He turned around, startled. "I didn't say I didn't want to go. I just said I wasn't ten."

Ryan had a pretty smile. His whole face would light up, starting with his lips then making its way up to his eyes. He had a dimple on his left cheek that looked absolutely delicious. 

No, I thought, turning away from him and walking towards the door. You have eyes for one person. A person that's gone-

"You okay?" I was thankful for the question breaking through my thoughts. I wasn't allowed to think those things. He couldn't help that the Director stationed him somewhere else. It wasn't his fault. 

"I'm fine. This is like the best day ever." You're lying to him. The best day ever was when he told you that-

"I'm glad."

Ryan ordered pizza and a lot of tokens. I wandered around the building, trying to figure out which one to play first. 

"We have time," came Ryan's voice at my ear, "you can play all of them."

"I don't-" I took a breath and started again "I don't know what it feels like to be a kid. I spent my whole life stealing and trying to make sure my family had enough food to eat. I never got to play or go out with friends. I definitely never got to have any luxuries like this."

I was mildly horrified with myself for sharing such personal information. But the look on Ryan's face wasn't what I expected it to be. I expected pity. I didn't know what he was thinking at the moment. 

"And now you're getting your chance," he smiled at me. His hand came towards me, as if he were about to brush a strand of hair out of my face, but then he dropped it. I brushed it off as something else. 

I sauntered around the room, trying so hard to turn off the killer in me. The person inside of me that drank in every detail in cold calculation, the person that was always in defense mode. I looked around at all the little kids and their parents, brothers, sisters. I reminded myself that there was no threat here. I was completely safe. 

Safe, safe, safe. 

I remembered one time, for my tenth birthday, my parents had spent the whole year saving as much money as they could, just to take me out to dinner. They bought me a new dress, one that I didn't have to make from too small clothes. They let me get whatever I want from the menu, no matter the cost. They got me a cake and sang happy birthday for everyone to hear. I remembered how I felt; giddy, like I could have and do everything in the world. And I knew that's how most kids were supposed to feel. Every day. 

"You seem...distant today."

I whirled around to see Ryan directly in front of my face. I expected him to jump back in embarrassment. He didn't. Instead, he reached for my hand and guided me over to the basketball game.

"I'm just a little overwhelmed," I lied in reply to his comment. 

He could see right through me, but he didn't push it. Smart. "Anyways, you like basketball, don't you? Are you up for a little friendly competition?"