Killer

Chapter 9

I smiled up at the ceiling, allowing myself to get lost in these memories. I missed him so much that it physically hurt. 

Alex. I let his name play on my lips. The lips that belonged to him. I'd have to tell him when I saw him again, about what's-his-face and what's-his-face-#2. No matter how much I didn't want to.

I wondered just how much more he could take. 

I didn't want to think about that. I just wanted to think of the phone call I was promised today by the Director. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. 

The past few days have been nothing but boring. No missions, no anything. Ryan and I have been spending our time playing games, training, and complaining about our boredom. 

And then I realized that today is Wednesday. The first of the executions. 

I buried my hands in my face and bit down on my lip to keep from screaming. It was bad enough already; I didn't need more blood on my hands. 

You know you like it, that little voice inside my head chimed. I pushed it away.

"Rachel?" the sleep voice of Ryan called from across the room. I turned over to look at him, giving him an apologetic smile. He waved me off and got up, stumbling to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

I went to shower, and by time I was out, a steaming hot plate of restaurant-style looking pancakes was waiting for me at the table. It was topped with butter and loads of syrup, just how Ryan knew I like it. I scarfed it down and dressed. Everything was passing by in a blur.

I bid Ryan a weak goodbye and he gave me a sympathetic look. I strolled down the hall to the interrogation rooms, trying to keep my hands from shaking. I took slow, steady breaths. I just hoped I didn't know anyone. 

I did not have any such luck. 

I greeted Director with a handshake, and looked at the weapons table, a rush of excitement going through me. I loved weapons, guns most of all, but to my disappointment, there were none.

Make it slow, torturous, and painful.

I chose a shiny knife with a comfortable handle, and walked into the room. 

Two people, one girl and one boy, handcuffed to their chairs. The girl I did not know. She was blond and skinny, with a terrified look on her face. I then looked to the boy, and my heart stopped. 

Mason.

I turned around to look back at the Director, but the door was shut already. I knew he was looking through the one-way glass window. He could see me, but I couldn't see him.

I had dropped the knife in my shock. 

I shakily went to retrieve it, tears pricking my eyes. I couldn't do this. 

"Rachel?" came Mason's voice. 

"Yes?" I said, unable to look up. 

"How are you, Rachel?"

Instead of answering him, I turned and rammed a fist into the glass.

"I won't do it!" I shrieked, banging on it again. 

"Rachel," Mason's voice was soft as he spoke. "Look at me, Rachel."

I faced him, not bothering to hide my tears. It was quite a surprise to him. I never cried, at least not in front of people. 

"Why, Mason?" I choked out. After Alex and I started dating, Mason became the closest thing, other than Derek, to my brother. 

"Just do it. Please. He'll understand, Rachel, you know he will." Mason was right, and that made everything worse.