Goodbye, honey :Story of an Indian bride

#Problems

I thought I was getting used to everything. I was used to getting hurt and ill treated, until that point.

***
The next four to five months went like that. Puneet's possessiveness didn't change nor did the atrocious taunts I received from by mother in law.

It was my friends birthday who was a former crush. Despite my feelings for him we had remained best friends and with time those feelings disappeared. I had told about him to Puneet. My mistake.

I had called him to wish him on his birthday and Puneet overheard our conversation. Immediately, he snapped and accused me of cheating him. He said I might even have done it with somebody outside.

My husband basically accused me of being a slut. I didn't know how to take that in. How to digest it.I just didn't know what to tell him anymore. His  anger angered me even more. My heart was beating frantically and not in a good way. Anger I never experienced before, engulfed me.

But that too wasn't my breaking point.

It came a few days later.The sprain in my leg wasn't completely healed and I had been having back problems too.

I went to the doctor with my mother and Puneet had told me to take money from him. So I told him how much it was for per day till ten days in front of everybody.

After he went, sasuma said, "Beta, if your going to spend that much, make sure you take complete rest. Don't go to work for ten days or more. You'll just waste my son's money if you do."

Oh yes, her precious son who according to her was a lottery ticket to me. I was so lucky to have him. Wasn't I?

Listening to her usually made me cringe. Besides if she doesn't want me to use her son's money, I won't.

***

Puneet came in the kitchen with money in his hand, while I was making rotis. I told him I didn't want his money, I'd rather use my parents' money, they'd be more than happy to give it.

When he asked why I told him what his mother had said to me. After just hearing that,something changed in him and he threw away the money, he threw away the rotis and immediately called his mother.

I started shivering. I got scared every time he got angry like that. Why did he have to throw away things like that?

His mother came in and asked what all the fuss was about. He relayed the events to her. She simply denied saying that. No shocker.

She also started calling me names. She said I was a liar. That I was trying to blame her for things she didn't do.

I didn't want to listen anymore so I just went inside my room. Puneet followed me inside.

Now even his statements changed and he said, "My mother is right. You need to say sorry to her. They are my parents and you should respect them. Besides I am the one who earns. You don't. So you need to agree to whatever I say."

This started a series of arguments. And we argued more. About this and all the topics that were buried beneath the surface.

He didn't want kids with me till I didn't start wearing saree. He didn't want a wife who'll teach his children wrong things. He also said he wanted a wife who was flexible, who'd put his parents above everyone.

He wanted me to stop talking to my friends all together. No message, nothing.

He wanted to shift to Dubai for business. I didn't. I told him before getting married that my job was here so I couldn't leave Delhi. Also, I had to support my parents.

So for hours we argued about it.He didn't go to work. I took a half day.

Some how I ended up agreeing to a lot of things I would never have dreamed about. Like wearing sarees. Not talking to my friends. I could do anything to save this marriage.

I agreed to go to Dubai for two months and he'd come for a month to India and that's how we'd continue. I agreed to have a child with a man to save the marriage. I was also ready to say sorry to his mother.

So by lunchtime we were happy and laughing. It was a pretense on my part.

Truth was I didn't want to do any of those things.I couldn't handle wearing a saree, I didn't want to stay a day in Dubai and I loved my friends. But I had to save this marriage. So I agreed.

He went out to have lunch . He asked me but I didn't go. I didn't want to face his mother.Still nobody came to ask me to join for food.

Meanwhile, I called my younger sister and told her everything. I asked her whether I should say sorry or not.

She yelled at me and told me that I was a twenty first century girl and I shouldn't bend.

Since those words were coming from her it, kind of pushed me towards not saying sorry. It wasn't my mistake in the first place. Why should I?

Still I was pretty much contemplating my decision until Puneet came back from lunch. After lunch things had changed. I didn't know what had happened but he said that he wanted to reconsider all the decisions we'd taken up till now. He wanted me to say sorry.

That was the last straw. I was done for the day. I wasn't going to say sorry. I couldn't bend anymore. I had already bent too much. I atleast expected him to meet me halfway.

So I told him, "I am sorry. I have work to do. Deadlines to meet. I am leaving. Just let me know if you want space or you want me to come home."

He nonchalantly said, "Do whatever you want to do." So I left.

At six I was standing outside my office  and I didn't understand where to go. My parents house didn't seem like my own anymore and I didn't want to go to a place where there wasn't anybody to trust.