Bruised Knuckles

32. since you've been gone

I feel like I'm an animal getting re-introduced into the wild after being held captive in a zoo.

It feels nice to be home, but I kind of got used to the zoo.

I walk in and nobody acknowledges me. Not one head turns in my direction and it's sort of scary because I could have literally been anyone.

I casually kick my shoes off and walk toward the couches where my parents are sitting with Aspen. It felt really good to see her healthy and at home.

"Hello," I say as I try to gain the apparently privileged attention of my family.

I watch my mom's eyebrows raise up and down after I greet everyone. She's engrossed in a magazine so I can't figure out if she's raising her eyebrows from my voice or an interesting article.

"Hello," my dad repeats like a parrot. He looks at me, but it's not a very promising look. It was cold and brief.

"I wish I could find reasons why you're allowed to stay here," my mom suddenly tells me.

"What?" I almost stutter, crinkling my eyebrows together. My mom doesn't look at me, but she keeps talking.

"I wish I could find reasons why—"

I stop her.

"I don't know what you mean. Do you want me to live on the streets?"

My mom shrugs and gives me a glare as she flips the page in a magazine. My dad is quiet as he stares into space, looking towards the floor. Aspen's face is red like a cherry tomato.

"You are eighteen..." My dad quietly adds, and I get the feeling they're hinting at something.

They're hinting at the fact that they want me to move out somewhere with the money that I don't have.

"Well, where the hell am I going to go?" I say as my voice raises uncontrollably.

I see Aspen trying to hold back something, and my eyes are drawn to her.

"Stop!" She suddenly explodes, raising her arms in the air desperately, "stop this! Orion is your child and my brother and he can stay here with his family if he wants to, okay? Stop treating him like shit for things he didn't even mean to do or things he can't even control. He's gay, I'm gay, what's the difference!"

My parents look at Aspen like she just got released from an asylum.

"You're gay too?" My dad asks like it's nothing.

Aspen suddenly becomes shy again and I can't tell if she's nodding yes or no. Her back is pressed into the cushions of the couch like they're supposed to suck her into an abyss or something.

"You're gay?" My mom blurts out, staring directly at my dad. The magazine is now drooping over her knees, about to hit the foor.

"I'm not gay," my dad responds, his hands pointing to his chest as they suddenly switch their eyes to Aspen.

I just stay where I am, standing in the living room as I watch my family shockingly ask eachother if they're gay. I want to laugh but I hold it back for Aspen's sake.