badlands ✄ ot4

18. but i won't look back

lukes pov
(italics are a flashback)
—
juniper's giggling fills the open space of land that our house stands on.
"catch me if you can!" she yells as i chase her along the dirt roads.
my mother was standing on the front porch, "kids! lemonade!"
we both direct our chase up to the rocking chairs, sitting down in them with our cold lemonade glasses in hand....
-
i stood and watched as brianna buried my sister. my sister.
it didn't even hurt.
i just felt numb.
michael held me in his arms, playing with my hair and attempting to calm me down.
brianna frowns and places a necklace in my hand, "i think she'd want you to have this."
i smile weakly and put it around my neck, "thank you."
i felt like throwing up. her blood was on my hands and it was my fault.
it should have been me that died, not her.
"the girl who lived wasn't supposed to live." brianna spoke, breaking the depressingly quiet silence.
"what do you mean?" my voice is weak and shaky.
"juniper was proof the badlands can be beaten. she'll live in infamy, like harry potter, as the girl who lived. even if she died. we all go one day."
it hit me that now we had no idea what to expect, we were hopeless to knowing what was lying ahead.
the fact didn't taunt me, i was willing to take on the challenge, we all were.
needless to say, it was mikey i was worried about.
see, the boy is built small. hes short, skinny, pale, not very intimidating either. he would be an easy target to whomever might become our enemy along the way. if i lose him, i lose my sanity, i lose my head, i lose myself.
michael is all that i have, he is the only person who knows me as well as i do.
i look over at him and hes looking at me worriedly.
i walk over to him and kisses his nose. "it's okay, mikey...i'll always have her memory. i will see her again."
michael smiles, "another trait you have that i love."
i can't help but crack a smile too, "and what would that be?"
his tiny hands interlace with mine, "you're optimistic, always refuse defeat. i admire that about you."
i kiss mikey's strawberry lips and he kisses back.
"what would i do without you, michael?"
he shrugs, "no clue."