If I Save You

Chapter Ten-Faker

Usually, when you have anxiety or depression, a fake smile can be your best friend.

You can wear it to school. At home. You can wear it when you stare at yourself with utter disgust in the mirror, until your lips start to tremble and it crumbles away.

And you start to sob.

I'm so tired right now that I don't even bother with my fake smile. It took Ben a full hour to beat a very frustrated Ethan at chess, and then Ben ran around the living room cheering himself and pumping his fists in the air.

Turns out that a chess game is all that me and Ethan needed for us to get tired and want to go to sleep.

"I'm exhausted" Ethan mumbled and stood up, outstretching his hands, and cracking his knuckles, which popped like fireworks. "I'll be in my room if anybody needs me"

I wanted to go back to my room, but I shot a hesitant glance over at Ben. I mean, he may be a kid, but he's still a stranger. He might rob me and Ethan while we're asleep.

"Laura, can't you believe it?!" Ben told his wooden cat. He's kneeling down on the floor staring at his cat with eyes brighter than Christmas trees. "My streak of winning fifty games in a row hasn't been broken yet!"

Yeah, he's not going to be robbing us anytime soon.

As I walk past Ethan's room, I see him sitting down on his bed, shoulders hunched over, hands covering his face. He had earbuds jammed into his ears.

"What are you listening to?" I ask him, even though I know that he won't be able to hear my soft, weak voice with the music blaring into his ears, but to my surprise, he looks over at me.

"Remember that song my mom always used to play?" he said.

I wrinkled my nose as I thought back to all those years.

Yeah, she did always play a song. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, her all time favourite. To make us laugh, she's grab Callum and dance with him on the creaky wooden floor, twirling him around with her arm, while me and Ethan sat on the couch, dying of laughter.

"Is it Bohemian Rhapsody?" I ask, and Ethan nods.

Shockingly, Ethan takes one of the earbuds out of his ears, and extends it over to me.

"You want to listen?"

I smile at him. "I don't know. They're probably covered with earwax"

He rolled his eyes, but chuckled despite himself. I walked over to him, and took the earbud, placing it comfortably in my ear, sitting beside him while Queen blasted into my right ear.

I saw his ice blue eyes dart over to me, and for some reason, I blush.

"What?" he asks, staring at me with a blazing curiosity.

"Oh, nothing" I laugh nervously, and tuck a strand of falling strawberry blonde hair behind my ear.

You're so awkward it makes me feel actual pain.

I bite my lip, suddenly feeling horribly insecure. I want to run into my room, but for some reason, I stay beside Ethan.

"We should probably get going to the train station" he suddenly leapt up from his feet, the earbud popping out from my ear, and falling to the ground.

"Ouch" I frown, and rub my ear. "Give me a warning, next time, please"

We didn't have much to pack, because we barely unpacked anything last night. But we had to help Ben gather up all the thing he dumped out of his backpack.

"Hey, maybe on the train, I can read some Harry Potter books to you guys!" Ben said as we stuffed all of his things into his backpack.

"Sure, kid" Ethan said as he zipped up Ben's backpack. His eyes darted over to the small, plastic clock hung loosely on the beige wall. It was almost nine. "But we gotta go-now"

We briskly left the motel, and Ben waved to the teenage boy with the greasy blonde hair.

There's a lot of tourist shops here. As we pass busy pedestrians, loud semi trucks, and yellow taxis, we pass a small tourist shop.

And in the glass window advertising what they had in the shop, was none other than a whole row of bobble heads.

I felt my lips split into a smile. I turn to Ethan and Ben, who were having an intimate conversation about which Harry Potter book is the best one.

"Give me a sec, okay? I have to do something" I tell them, and leave into the tourist shop before they could stop me.

The little bell attached to the door jingled as I walked in. The whole store smells intensely like cotton candy, probably because of the huge cotton candy machine in the back of the store, which was surrounded by excited looking kids.

I walk right up a shelve of bobble heads, and thinking of Ethan, bought him a little brown dog bobble head, and paid for it. Luckily, I had a five dollar bill in one of my dirty hoodie pockets, so I was able to get it.

I hand it to Ethan, who was waiting impatiently for me to come out. I handed him the bobble head, and he smiled as he stared down at it.

"As promised" I tell him charismatically.

He looks up at me, and behind that smile I saw a whole storm of worry. Just a few more stops and we would be at New York, and he would see his father, the man who left him.

He squeezed the dog in his hands. "Thank you"

"Wow! It's so cute! Can we name it Walter? Or how about Joe? He'll be great friends with Laura!" Ben said as we continued to walk down the street, towards the train station that was ahead of us, but still in our sight. 

Thanks so much for reading! I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, but I hope you liked this short chapter. And, happy Halloween to anyone who celebrates!