Steven walks into the living room, where the guys are writing a song, wearing a pink princess dress.
Steven: Hi guys. I'm a princess.
They all snort.
Steven: What? I thought I looked nice.
Axl: If you were gay, perhaps.
All the guys laugh again.
Steven: That's so offensive to gay people, Axl!
He walks over to Duff and hands him a hat.
Steven: Duff is now my prince and we are going to get married!
He grabs Duff's hand and pulls him from the sofa. Duff's too drunk too complain so he plays along.
Steven: Axl! Be our horse! We will need something to get us to the wedding. Kneel down.
Axl: You take orders from me! Don't tell me what to do!
Steven: I'll kiss you if you don't do as I say.
Axl: Ok! I'll be a horse. Don't come near me!
Steven secretly wished that Axl had said no just so he could kiss him.
Axl knelt down on all fours with a huff.
Steven: Come on my handsome prince, let's get married!
They both sit on Axl's back which causes him to groan in pain.
Axl: Oh my god! You're so fucking heavy!
Steven: Now Izzy! Be the vicar!
Izzy: No
Steven: Oh for god's sake. Why can't you just get off your lazy ass for once in your life and do something fuuuuuuuuuuun!
Izzy: Alright, alright. Don't get all stressed.
Steven: Go on then Axl! Take us to Izzy!
Axl starts crawling towards Izzy on all fours. He moans with every movement as Steven grips onto Duff's torso.
Steven: Faster little horsey!
He digs his heels into Axl's sides in an attempt to speed him up.
Axl: Fucking do that again and I'll throw you off.
Steven: And then I'll kiss you!
Axl rolls his eyes and carries on pulling their heavy weight.
Steven: Ok! Right, Axl, stop here and let us get off.
Axl bucks Steven and Duff off so that they tumble to the floor. He then walks away to his room, muttering curses under his breath.
Steven gets up from the floor and straightens out his cheap costume dress before hauling Duff to his feet, both tripping over each other in the process.
They stand next to each other and Steven slips his hand into Duff's.
Trying not to draw to much attention towards the unwanted affection Duff slowly pulls his hand away.
Duff: What are you doing?
Steven: Oh sorry. I just wanted to make it seem more realistic.
Duff: The fuck? No. Just do what you have to do but don't touch me like that again.
Steven: Okaaaaaaaaaay. Sorry
Izzy stands infront of them and slumps his shoulders.
Steven: Izzy! Stand up straight. Vicars don't slump. It's disrespectful!
Steven hisses while covering one side of his face in order to prevent Duff from hearing. Unbeknownst to Steven, Duff didn't have a fucking clue what was going on and stared out of the window while tapping his thigh to an offbeat rythm.
Steven: Right Izzy, say all the vicary things then.
Izzy: Um... I promise to love Duff otherwise Satan will banish me to the dark depths of his lair named hell and torture me in ways I may not wish to fully understand.
Steven: Uuuuuh. No actually. That's not it.
Izzy: I don't really give a shit so kiss the bri- um groom.
Steven: Yaaaaay! Duff we're married! Kiss me!
Steven grabs Duff's cheeks and pulls his head down. Their lips meet for a brief second before Duff snaps out of his drunken dream and slaps Steven hard across the cheek.
Steven: I cannot believe you just did that! After all we've been through! I want a divorce! Where's Izzy?
He's gone...
