The Sun And The Stars •completed•

Foolish, Fragile Spine Pt. 2

When Eli willed himself into the shower and out of his room the next day, at around noon, all was quiet. He walked down the hall to the restaurant and ordered a coffee, sipping at it as he looked around. Across the street, the old bus was parked, with no new one in sight yet. 

Considering how early Audrey was usually awake, Eli felt slightly worried at the fact that she wasn't at the restaurant. She hadn't come to his door during the morning. He would have known if she had, not having slept. 

He spotted her, briskly walking into the restaurant with a grim expression, before stopping in surprise when she saw him. Her striped t-shirt haphazardly tucked into her skirt and her bun messier than usual, she sat awkwardly across from him at the table. 

The silence was deafening. Eli had never seen her so quiet. Her eyebrows were drawn together as she frowned down at the table, fiddling with her fingers. "Audrey, are you okay?" He asked softly. She squeezed her eyes shut. "Yes." She whispered hoarsely. 

Something in him spiked. A danger meter hit red and he tentatively reached out to touch her hand. She flinched away. "I'm gonna get some fresh air." She announced, refusing to look at him as she left. Something in Eli's heart broke. 

"Audrey, what's wrong?" He asked when he finally caught up with her, halfway down the path to the lake. She kept walking. "Seriously, you're starting to freak me out." He said, keeping in step with her. Audrey stopped and looked at him, a hurt expression on her face. "I just mean," He took a breath, "I'm worried about you." 

Audrey's hands balled into fists. "I'm freaking you out? You're worried about me?" She hissed. Eli frowned, not understanding. Audrey took in a few shallow breaths. "I looked them up, okay?" She tucked her hair behind her ears, "I knew that I'd heard the names before. Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. I knew it." 

Eli felt his jaw clench as he braced for impact. "You want to know the one glaring thing both have in common, Eli?" She asked, fuming. He was unresponsive. "Suicide." She declared. "You, on this bus alone. Going across the country, your parents don't know. The scars." She connected the dots for him, feeling heat behind her eyes, "You said that you felt like Virginia Woolf understood you. You know how she did it?" She asked, but he was a stone wall. "Of course you do. She drowned herself, and they didn't find her for over a month." 

Audrey crossed her arms, daring to look Eli right in the eyes. "Is that why you're going across the country? So they don't find you?" She was done, question poised, tension thick. 

"You don't know a damn thing about me." Eli replied tensely. 

"You didn't answer the question." 

"I don't have to!" He suddenly blurted, making Audrey suck in her breath. "I'm not travelling across the country just to-" He ran both hands through his hair and started to pace, laughing sarcastically to himself. "Okay, you want to do this?" He stopped pacing. "I can use google too. I found your disease. It's rare, but definitely yours." Eli clenched his jaw, "Guess what? There's no cure! No miracle pill." 

Audrey opened her mouth to object. "Unless you mean the illegal one. The one that's been off the market since studies started showing a 50 percent mortality rate." He watched her eyes widen and tears well up. "What did you do, make a little internet deal?" He rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter. I don't care. Don't lecture me about killing myself when you're flipping a coin for your life." 

Tears freely falling down her cheeks, Audrey still stared right into his eyes. His dark, furious eyes. He stared right back, not backing down. But her withering glare held despite the tears, and he finally gave up, sighing and walking away, back to the hotel. 

Audrey tried to breathe, clutching the side of a tree with one hand as she rubbed her chest with the other. She coughed and coughed, spitting blood onto the ground. She shakily sat down and started counting her breaths. 
 

****

"Okay, folks. Let's get going. It's an 8 hour drive until the next pit stop." The driver encouraged as everyone got their suitcases from the broken down bus and transferred them over to the new one. Eli grabbed his last, noticing that Audrey's was still there. He shook it off. 

Half an hour later, and everyone was filing onto the bus, the sun setting behind them. Eli walked to the back, and upon seeing that Audrey wasn't there, dropped his bag and ran back to the bus driver. "We're missing someone." He told her quietly. 

"Huh?" 

"Audrey Kepler, she's on this route, but she isn't here." Eli said slightly louder, feeling panic overtake him. The driver checked her roster, "Look, if she's not here, I can't help you. I sent out an alert an hour ago. There's 11 other passengers. We have to go." She shrugged and turned away. 

"Just- just let me try to find her. Please. She can't just be left here." 

"Why? She's not a minor. She should have been here." 

"I know, I know. Please." Eli begged. The driver looked him up and down an shook her red ponytail. "You've got half an hour." Eli bolted off of the bus and into the hotel. Cursing himself for not having her number, he rushed to her room. I mean, the bus driver has our numbers. A cleaning lady was vacuuming in Audrey's hotel room. 

Eli tried to stop panicking and actually think. 

How could he have shouted at her? How could she have been so fragile and yet so bull headed? So stubborn and fiery, at the same time being so delicate, crying so quickly. He made her cry. She was such a contradiction and he hated himself for not knowing what she would do next. Eli rubbed his eyes and remembered. He sprinted out of the hotel, running down the pathway to the lake.

She was sat there, in the water. Small waves lapped up to her knees as she stared into the sunset. Eli took a moment to watch her. Fully clothed, she was sat in the lake. The hem of her skirt floating slightly in the water. He couldn't help the smile on his face. Slowly, he walked up behind her, stopping before the water. He noted her phone and shoes on the beach. 

Before he could say a word, she spoke. "I'm just so sick of it." Her voice thick with tears. She gulped and bit her lip, more tears starting to well up. "So sick of not living." Her hands clutched her knees, fingernails digging into the skin. "I just woke up and I decided. I decided that I wanted it all. I want it... All or nothing." She sniffed and looked down to her mess of a reflection in the water. 

Eli was silent for a moment. "Me too." He added. 

Audrey finally looked back at him, hazel eyes wide, but understanding. She nodded and turned away to look at the sunset. "I'm sorry." She said, wiping her eyes with wet hands. "I'm so sorry." She breathed out, shaking her head. 

"It's okay." Eli croaked, pulling his sweater sleeves down further, wanting to cry just seeing her so upset. "I'm sorry too." 

"Come sit with me?" She asked, looking back at him. "The sunset is amazing from down here." She added. Eli checked his phone and sighed. He quickly took off his sneakers and socks, and walked into the water, sitting next to her, arms folded over his knees. She smiled lightly, tears still escaping her eyes. The water was cold but he didn't care. She was right, the sunset was beautiful from this angle. 

Audrey slipped her hand into his under the water, and leaned her head onto his shoulder, tired physically and emotionally. "We really need to exchange numbers." Eli whispered into her hair. She simply nodded. 

 That night they slept in that same position on the bus, contented and utterly soaked through.